A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and this guy had a casual relationship for about a month,but he asked me 4 a serious r.ship a number of times which i said no.We had a big arguement because there was another woman on the scene and i was jealous he wasnt just seeing me.I said nasty things that i didnt mean.Now whenever i text him or ask to see him so we can talk he ignores me or says he's busy and he never used to before. He has sent me texts saying he is going to have to try and stop loving me but he is still holding a grudge against me and i miss him loads all i want is to be his friend.What can i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): You need to leave him alone to get on with his life. If he wants to be friends, let him make that choice without you constantly "being there".
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): I think deep inside you love this guy but maybe you are afraid of ruining your friendship. The main fact you became jealous of this other woman said a lot.... And its obvious he cares for you and wants to move the relationship pass just being friends. Maybe he was talking to another woman to see how you react. Girlfriend you need to deal with this. Apologise to him face to face and get him to talk to you. And don't go talk to him with a defensive mind. Listen to what he has to say.
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A
female
reader, shaia +, writes (29 January 2010):
aw you must feel very confused about this, it sounds like hes feeling a little bit broken, i know how strong friendships can be, a strong and true friendship is hard to find and its natural for you to be possessive over him, you loved him! maybe not in an "inlove" way but you cared for him right? you didnt want some girl taking your space, yet you wasnt quite sure if you wanted to have a full blown serious relationship... my advice is to text him or write, what ever way you think is best because then you wont be inturupted. tell him you love him and miss him, and that the reason you didnt want a serious relationship at the time because you were so afraid you woild lost the friend in him that you loved so much, tell him boyfriends come and go, but friends true friends stay there for ever, tell him you felt scared that by commiting to him you might have lost him in some way. tell him you miss him, and want to give him a big cuddle watch a movie with a big blanket and some sweets to share and tell him you promise to never hurt him again, and that who knows... maybe we were meant to be, but for now. lets be the best of friends.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): It sounds to that you cannot have your cake and eat it to. You cannot be selfish about him seeing someone else. You told him you don't want a relationship with him. Why is this? Possibly he cannot remain just friends with you as you obviously were jealous when you were just friends. I think you should think about why you got jealous...maybe you care for him more then a friend. The best solution is to be unselfish and honest with him and yourself.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 January 2010):
I hate to tell you this, but you've had your chance. You didn't want a relationship, so he's gone and found someone who does. Now you're jealous, and you've said some things he won't forgive. You've lost him, and now you have to move on. He's not interested anymore.
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