A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:help me please , I'm nearly 18 and think i may be pregnant ,i had unprotected sex with mi boyfriend over Xmas and now I'm l8 on mi period. I'm really scared because i don't want a kid , mi boyfriend is 21 and already has a kid with an ex , he rarely sees him because the kids mum wont let him so i know he would love to have a kid at home with him that he could look after etc , my problem is i cant tell anyone and at the beginning of this year mi boyfriend was accused of rape, he swears to me he didn't do it, Ive stuck by him because i love him so much and until there is proof i wont believe he done it, but I'm still worried that if he goes to prison i will be left with a baby that i don't want and cant look after , what should i do please help me Ive got no1 else to talk to?????
View related questions:
be pregnant, might be pregnant, period, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): Hi dear, I know you are scared and feel you can't talk to anyone....I really think you need to though. Try talking to your parents about this, and if they are upset, just accept that they have the right to their feelings..If you are just 18, I am sure that you are still living under their roof, and if you have this child, the financial burden will be on your parents, so they have a right to know...but first things first, get a pregnancy test and a test for any STD's, go to a doctor.
I am very concerned that you continued a relationship with a young man that has been accused of rape. I don't believe that he did not do it. He was probably identified by the woman who was raped, contrary to popular belief it is very very rare that a woman would accuse a man of rape if she was in fact not raped, no one wants to go through a rape trial for fun! Now days a simple dna test can be done if he left any "evidence" to convict him. At any rate, he sounds like he is a dangerous sort, and I think you should forget about standing by him, he is a loser...he has a baby with an ex, and now he is having unprotected sex with you, he does not care about you or he would not do this...he simply cares only about himself...this is how sociopaths think, they find a vulnerable trusting person and take advantage.
So the next thing I think you should do is dump him, and get the support of your family who truly loves you, they do, you have to let them in and if they get upset at you it is because they love you and are scared for your welfare....so deal with it and you will be better off.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): Hi,
Stop worrying and get yourself a pregnancy test immediately. Then you will be able to make some hard decisions - if you need to. You mention that he might need this child to love if he can't see his other child...
Don't have a baby in order to correct or fill some need or fantasy. Raising a child is the next 20 years of your life - it is a big commitment and not one to be taken lightly. You need a partner to do this right. This young man has one child already and is accused of rape - you have to admit that he does not have a very good track record. If he was being responsible, he should have had protection. You have to be responsible - he has had unprotected sex twice that you are aware of - these are things that point to possible transmission of HIV too! Carry your own condoms and try to find a nice guy next time. I'm sorry to be so cold, but dump the guy and I hope that everything works out for the best for you. Take care of yourself,
L
...............................
A
male
reader, Nico +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Hi,
I know someone else at this very moment who is being accused of rape and i know he didn't do it, the lass has no proof and it was over a year ago and she hasn't gone to police or anything but is making his life hell, if the courts cannot have any evidence or proof don't worry bout the prison part, i would speak to your b.f and take a test to see if you are and if so then goto your doctor speak 2 him/her and sort out what you want, the most important factor is yours and the babys health. Try not to worry, best thing to do is speak to your family, friends and b.f. Hope everything works out for you!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): Lets face it, if you dont want this kid. Dont have it. You cant have a baby you dont want for a man who could turn out to be a rapist. Hes hardly going to admit it to you, even if it was true. You having this baby wont fully make up for his other child. And dont you find it at least a little bit strange that he isnt aloud to see his other child. He must have played some part in his other childs mother not wanting him around.
...............................
A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (30 January 2007):
 The first thing you need to do is establish if you are infact pregnant. Until then the other factors dont come into it until later on.
Im not sure if you are saying that you are on your period, or if your period is due, or its not happend... Either way... If its late, you can do a pregnancy test now. If its due but not happend yet, it could happen anyday now. If you are on your period, then theres a remote possibilty in the smallest forms that you may be pregnant, but less likely.
If it turns out that you are pregannt, then you can talk things over with your doctor as to what you want to do. Im sensing that now really wouldnt be the best time to have a child depsite your boyfriend maybe liking the idea if you told him, let alone the fact he may go to prison.
At this point you have to do what is right for YOU and nobody else. There are many options and support groups, so if you talk to your doctor they can guide you the correct way, and advise you of what groups are in your area, you dont have to be alone and there are people that you can talk to freely.
Take a test and find out... It could be that you are stressing and this time around you could be lucky to have not fallen pregnant. But the longer you go on stressing that would delay a period. So relax a little and find out first. Then see your GP and take it from there...
Take care and I hope things work out for you.
x
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 First of all you need to find out for sure if you ARE in fact pregnant. If you are you need to decide whether or not to have this baby or not. If you feel you want to keep the baby then fine but if you feel you're not ready for motherhood yet and want a termination then you have to do that and don't listen to what anyone else says on the matter. It is YOUR body and YOUR decision!
Let it be a lesson to you in the future ALWAYS to use protection when having sex to stop this kind of thing ever happening again. Don't give in sexually to men so easily, get to know them better first BEFORE giving yourself to them.
With regards to your boyfriend, time will tell whether he was guilty of this crime or not. Until then, you have your OWN decisions to make if you are in fact pregnant but find out sooner rather than later okay?
Eve
...............................
|
