A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How can I move on with my life and forget her? She did everything opposite one knows as love, and what you expect from your lover. She treated me bad, swear at me, never showed she cared about me and my life, and never help me when I needed her help. The problem was she wanted to be the ultimate power in the relationship, and what she says should go even though it wasn’t fair. She never cared about my feelings and what is important to me. She never see us as two person for the same objectives in this relationship, but it was like I am just there to keep her entertain. I was fed up with the whole things, but as you know like any relationship we had our good times as well, but there wasn’t a good balance.We broke up, after being together for one an half years, as all these arguments were getting too much for me to cope with, and after we break up she treat me like this relationship never existed. The problem is I am a very sensitive, caring person (my friends also say that and not just me saying it) and she is not, so it is much harder for me to deal with all these feelings than her. She knows that I loved her so much and she is now playing it cool, which that way she might loose me forever. But on the other hand I say to myself, do I really want to go back with her? It is like the battle of heart and mind, and it is so much conflict inside me, which I find it so hard to cope with.I never used to drink more than two pint of bear a week, but now I am drinking more and more as a way of coping , I know it is not the way and it is not good, but I feel I am drowning in here and she doesn’t care, and no one is there to salvage me . I have some good friends who helped me, but that is not enough. The problem is we never had a chance to talk proper, because she didn’t want to listen and only to talk and shout without any reasons.I am devastated, I want my normal life back, I want to be me again, happy again, and dream again for my life and my future. I don’t really know what to do?, and what else is there to try? Is there any point to try to win her back? If not, how I am going to move on, and deal with this feelings?One question which I really would like to find out, is did she ever really loved me?Thanks for you time and advices
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 This sounds a lot like a letter I answered yesterday. Either it's the same person, or an uncanny resemblence.
If it's the same person writing these letters, what is the answer you want? Did she love you? What difference does it make now? There is an old saying, "It is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all." Make that your credo.
It's time to move on. It's over. Or, as they say in Brooklyn, New York, "Fahgetaboutit."
A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (30 January 2007):
She most likely had a fear of showing her feelings. She was probly scared of being hurt, so hurt you before you could hurt her. Im guessing that she did love you. But she needs a harsh man to show her that she cannot get away with her tantrums. This is not you, and dont try to be. Find someone who wants to be in a relationship for the same things that you do. Someone who wants your care and love. The reason you cannot forget about this woman is because she has left you with so many un-answerd questions. Because she and her behaviour were a mystery. Give yourself a new goal, something to work forward to. Or spend time with your friends and family.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Hello love,
Thank you for asking your question.
First of all, why do you want to go back with her to get more of the same? You deserve much better than what this woman is dishing out to you. All she is doing is lowering your self confidence and self esteem and making you feel like a "nothing". And you want to go back to that? Come on, you need to be strong here. Don't let any woman bring you down. You are a wonderful person with a lot of wonderful qualities.
You had some good times and you're holding on to them. There are lots of other women out there just waiting for a nice, genuine, sensitive and loving person like you to begin a relationship with and who will give you back that love in return but you'll never meet them until you TELL yourself that you can do much better... YOU CAN!!!! You have to close the door behind you before another one opens so close the door on her! Move on with your life and you'll see things will get better for you.
You get to you what you attract! If you think positive thoughts then you will attract positive people, if you think negative thoughts then you will attract negative people.
She probably did like you at one time but she is using you, playing a mental game with you, treating you like a doormat love. You are worth a thousand times more than that! So come on, pick yourself up and tell yourself you deserve MUCH better. If you want to talk to me some more about this feel free to respond.
Eve
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