A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a Christian girl and I met this Christian guy through a mutual friend at a party last Halloween. He was really nice and as I got to know him I totally fell for him, he was very respecting of women and he does things like help poor people. We get on well too and do things like play squash and badminton together.I just found out today however (we finally added each other on FB/Twitter etc.) that he's gay and has a boyfriend. I had no idea :( Ofc I don't disapprove of gay people but I am crushed by the fact he will never like me in that way and he's taken anyway.I just feel horrible, and he's so nice I don't know how to distance myself from him and deal with my feelings without being weird. I also feel bad because I'm 22 and haven't found the right Christian guy for me yet and I feel old and like I'll never get married. In just 4 years I'll be 26 and a lot of guys see women over 25 as old! I really want a decent kind guy and I thought I found him, but I guess not.How do I get over him and how do I keep strong till I find the right guy for me? Thanks.
View related questions:
christian, crush, has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (27 January 2015):
 The "perfect man" doesn't exist, only the perfect partner for each individual. This guy is most definitely not the perfect guy (for you) because he's gay, so you've got to stop thinking of him like that, or you're subconsciously kidding yourself with "if only" thoughts.
The more worked up you get about your age, which is actually irrelevant until about 30 (in terms of starting a family), the more clingy/difficult you'll seem to any potential partners - reason being; you'll seem desperate.
Just relax, be yourself and join Christian groups, especially ones for singles :)
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (27 January 2015):
 There is no such thing as the "perfect Christian gay man" tyhat I know of.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 January 2015):
 By accepting that you were INFATUATED by the IDEA of this guy, not who he is. In your head he was the "perfect match", but in reality he isn't. Doesn't mean he isn't a GREAT guy and maybe (if you are smart) he can be a VALUABLE life long friend.
I would TRY not to make such a big deal about age. Some people find they mate at 16, other at 56. There isn't a HUGE hurry for you, at 22 you got PLENTY of time. I would say it's MORE important that you FIND someone GOOD instead of settling for ANYONE who falls into a few criteria.
If dating a Christian guy is important to you, I suggest you look around your congregation and met other Christian Youths. Maybe even volunteer through your Church.
Crushes happens. Falling for someone who is "off limits" (for whatever reasons) HAPPENS. What you CAN do it look a the traits you LIKE about this guy and look for it in other men. Maybe you can find a guy who is just as good a guy and this one, but one .. that prefers women.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2015): First of all it doesn't mean you can't still be friends with him. You know it isn't going to happen he is Gay but you can still be his friend.
Second point you are 22!!! We aren't living in the 1950's where women's only hope was to find a man by 21.
Focus on college/Uni or work whatever you have going on in life. Hang out with your friends go to young adult groups that most churches have if you want to meet someone.
Who on earth told you men see women over 25 as old? Your 20s your in college, graduating, finding your first flat, finding out who you are ect! I am 26 and have only just had my first kid, and no am not over the hill, thanks.
Stop putting pressure on yourself, enjoy being young. No pressure to meet someone at our age. God gives the right person at the right time.
Plus Halloween party? Activily gay? I take it is a liberal Church you attend? Maby should be looking at that.
...............................
|
