A
female
age
30-35,
*risscriss
writes:I just found out a month ago that the love of my life was cheating on me with his ex girlfriend at the beginning of our relationship. I have NEVER IN MY WHOLE LIFE met anyone like him. It was like we instantly had a connection and we could already see ourselves together forever. I've imagined our wedding and having a family. We already decided where we were going to live and how many kids and dogs we were going to have. I know this may be hard to understand for some people who haven't found THAT person yet but although we were only together for 6 months it was 6 months with my other half. We were practically the same person, with the same humor, same jokes and same fun attitude. We were MADE for each other. I don't really know how to put it any other way. Like, I said, it's hard for many people to understand what I'm going through because some people haven't found their soulmate, that one person who you feel you ABSOLUTELY beyond a doubt have to be with. But now my world just shattered apart because he KNEW that I had been cheated on before and he KNEW that cheating on me would be the WORST thing he could ever possibly do to me. I didn't do anything wrong. And now, he is the most depressed he's ever been in his entire life because he hurt me so bad and would do anything to get me back because he feels the same way. He feels like we are the same person and we belong together and he made a mistake. But as heartbroken as I am, how do I deal with that? It took him 5 months to confess that this happened! 5 months before he manned up and told me that he cheated!! And every night before going to bed I hope that this is all just a nightmare and that I'll wake up and it'll be May 16th when we first hooked up. I hope to wake up on that day and start over and make better decisions about it all. I'm scared to death that I will never find someone who will satisfy me on every level like he does. He made me dinner, he treated me amazingly. I never thought he could do this to me. And the worst part about it is that the sex was the most mind-blowing sex I have ever had in my life and I can't pull myself away from him. We've been broken up for over a month and I've found myself going back to his house to have AMAZING sex only to end up staying the night and have him tell me how much he loves and misses me and how sorry he is and then I feel awful because I end up missing him too. I just CANNOT resist the sex. And obviously I'm still in love with him but I don't know which decision to make. I've never loved a man so much as I do him. And every day without him is a heartbreak.
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cheated on me, depressed, ex girlfriend, heartbroken, his ex, soulmate, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, crisscriss +, writes (19 December 2010):
crisscriss is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice you guys. Yes, his ex left him almost three months ago when she found out about me and hasn't talked to him since. She even told all of her family not to answer his phone calls. She changed her number and is now living in Hawaii. He is the most manipulative person I've ever met. And it's scary, honestly. But I just think back to how we were and I wish with all my heart that we could be that happy again. Because I've never known such happiness. But I've never known such sadness and heartbreak. Like I keep saying, I'm scared that I will never find someone to satisfy me in every aspect like he did. I'm scared that I'll find someone with some good qualities, but not the others. I'm scared that I'll never find love like that again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): Well after all you have discovered u need to make a decision: this so called amazing sex is it worth your pride, your self esteem and your dignity. You have broken up but run to him just to have sex. He cheated with u on his ex, he cheated on u with his ex. Can u not see a pattern emerging or don't u care bec the sex is so amazing.
Now he is so upset that he cheated on u. Was he upset when he cheated on his ex. Hold on: is his ex really his ex?
I think really u are only thinking about the 'amazing sex' and little else. You have the proof staring at you, you know what he is. To me he seems like a con artist.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, crisscriss +, writes (18 December 2010):
crisscriss is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's sorry, yeah. But the other day I talked to him and more information came out. In the past month he went from "I've never done anything at all to hurt you" to "yeah we kissed one time but that's IT, nothing else" to "We had sex one time but it lasted thirty seconds and that's it, nothing else" to "It actually did last a little longer, but that's it..." and lie after lie after lie finally started coming out and with every single one I kept saying "I know you still have more to tell me. Just tell me the truth, please" and he would say "I'm not lying to you anymore, I learned my lesson. I'll never lie to you again. That was it." and then more and more comes out. The most recent one is after saying that it was only two times he confessed to it being much more than that. All while I was innocently at home with my family. And we're broken up and he was still lying to me about all this. And kept saying, "no, that's it, that's really it. I haven't done anything more. I'm not lying to you anymore."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): ~UNCONDITIONAL LOVE~
Forgive him. He's sincere. He didn't merely say "I'm sorry." He has proven it. You are his soulmate.
God Bless.
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A
female
reader, crisscriss +, writes (16 December 2010):
crisscriss is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, he's 8 years older than me. Which is why I THOUGHT that he would have learned his lessons about cheating already. He was heartbroken when he cheated on his ex with me, he felt so guilty but then he did the same thing to me with her. I know, I know... I should have seen it coming but when I got to know him it didn't seem (honestly) like he would be the type to do that sort of thing to me. He wasn't playing games when he said he loved me. I knew that was true and I know that he feels the same as me as so far as us being the same person. And I know that the sex is a stupid reason for going back but I've never had anything like this in my life. Sex or otherwise. As I said before too, I've never met anybody so compatible to me... he IS my soulmate. So that's what's driving me to that too. And I know my heart hurts over what he did to me but I don't know what to do at all. I feel stuck. I love him so much and I know he feels awful for what he did to me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): "I just CANNOT resist the sex"
Well, if that is the best you can do, it's not much to build a relationship on.
What are you going to do when your relationship hits a "lull" and another guy offers you mind blowing sex? You will cheat, because he cheated on you, and you are in a lull, and there will be a thousand ways to justify it....
Mature minds don't go back just because of mind blowing sex, they go back for that and respect and love and everything else.
I'm willing to bet this guy is older than you.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (15 December 2010):
 You know what really sucks about being human? Being human. No one is perfect all of the time and even the most amazing men of all time occassionally screw up and when they do, it's pretty bad. I went through the same thing with my fiance, he was text/flirting, but no intercourse and I don't tolerate that.
We worked through it and we are still together and have been for two years. If you two both want to make this relationship work, then you need to discuss what happened and let him know (i'm sure he already does) that this can't happen again and if it does, then you are gone. No questions asked.
Make sure you tell him that you love him and understand that he is human, but he really hurt you. Love knows no bounds. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, xAx  +, writes (15 December 2010):
 i believe love has no boundaries. i think you both need time off but also allow him to prove that he is sorry, and you should forgive him. Make him work for you and make him properly realise what he has done and could miss out on( not just the sex). Everyone deserves a second chance i believe because we are only human and make silly mistakes.
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