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female
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*hy-gal
writes: ok, here's the deal.i recently split up with my boyfriend of 3 years and a friend told me to sign up to an internet dating agency where i met an amazing guy.we exchanged emails for a week, swapped numbers and last sunday we met up for the first time and the date was lovely but not without a shaky start...we arranged to meet in a bar at 8.30 and i got a text from him at quarter past saying he was running late and he would be there at quarter to instead. so i got there at 10 to (fashionably late) and text him to ask where he was and he said he managed to get there for half past after all and he waited and i wasnt there so he thought he'd been stood up, so he came back and we went out.he paid for all my drinks, he was amazing, gorgeous, funny, smart, we got on really well. had similar interests, we support the same football team, have the same ideal car (which he drives)we even smoke the same cigarettes. if i could write all the qualities of my ideal man and then draw a picture it wouldnt even come close to this guy. when the date was over and i was home i text him to say thanks for a lovely evening and give me a text if you ever want to do it again.he text back immediately saying he'd love to, and the conversation progressed into us deciding to do something tuesday night (last night) he said he was intersted in me, fancied me, couldnt wait till tuesday and was really looking forward to it.i've heard nothing from him.nothing, nada, zilch.that was the last text i got. nothing monday, nothing tuesday, nothing today.i text him tuesday lunchtime saying i was looking forward tonight if he was still free, and when i'd heard nothing i text again at 8 asking if it was my turn to be stood up this time? still nothing.ordinarily i would have just assumed he wasnt interested and left it, but why did he say how into me he was, and arrange to do something tuesday? if he didnt like me why didnt he just not text me back sunday night, or when i said to text if he ever wanted to do it again why didnt he just say "yeah ok, will do" and leave it really casual,i need some advice please, i'm going out of my mind. he's perfect for me and i've lost him already.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): Showing up for an 8:30 date at 10:00 is not "fashionably late" it is rude and displays the utmost disrespect.
A
female
reader, shy-gal +, writes (18 January 2007):
shy-gal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes guys i've checked my emails and my phone, and i've still heard nothing...
moomoomoo, in response you your last line, i didnt give away too much that i was interested at all, it was him who was saying how much he was interested and how he fancied me, which is why i just cant understand!
if he does get in touch he'd better have a bloody good reason i tell you, and i'm expecting a slap up meal with champagne to make up for it!
(p.s. if he's lost his job i'd feel really bad for him cos he's just bought a flat)
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A
female
reader, TDMB  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 I really feel for you here! Despite what anyone thinks, it is possible to meet someone and feel such an instant connection - and when it seems to be reciprocated the whole world lights up. Sadly though, there are a number of reasons why he might have disappeared. Some logisitcal as outlined by moo and some more emotional. Have you heard anything since you wrote your question? Do update us.
If not, I'd suggest calling him tomorrow (Thurs) and leaving a short message if he doesn't answer (assuming he has a message service) just to say Hi and you hope to hear from him soon. If that doesn't have an effect then I think you might have to accept that he has disappeared and the reality is you might never know why. It's hard but it happens. He could have met someone else from the Internet at about the same time, or decided he wasn't ready for what he was feeling - who knows. If he really has vanished then you need to take a deep breath and start again. Don't let this one experience put you off the Internet though as a way to meet guys. It can be excellent.
I do hope you hear from him though :o)
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A
female
reader, Yuna~  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 I hope he will call back and tell you a good reason why you haven't heard from him.
I've been though the internet dating thing too. I've meet this guy who I talked to on msn every night. We had a great time talking and always make plans to talk to each other the next night. We were getting along really well, and all of a sudden, I didn't see him online anymore. I think what happen is he blocked me. I tell myself, he's no longer interested in me, and he's not even brave enough to tell me directly. I need to move on.
Some guys are just like that. Instead of confronting girls, he decides to get out of it by disappearing. What I learn is you can't be too serious at the start. People change their minds. With internet dating it's even easier for them to change their minds. I know lots of people talk and date multiple girls. While they do that, they're trying to find more girls on the site. Internet just makes it that much easier.
Now, don't be afraid of internet dating. What you need to do is wait until someone who's worth you to love. I met my boyfriend on the internet dating site too. The only difference is I'm the only person he even contacted. Lucky me. He's not the kind of guy who enjoys to date around. We're happily together right now. I hope you're not afraid of internet dating. It really works.
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A
male
reader, moomoomoo  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 lol i don't think you should be so attached to someone whom you just met, maybe it's because you recently split up.. i think you should know that there are lots of guys that you will think is perfect and this is just temporary.. you don't really know him too well yet. AND... there are probably 2 reasons he just didn't give you anything.. . 1. (the most probably) due to circumstances he can't continue doing this, perhaps he is sparing your feelings cuz he found another person
2. technical difficulties
I don't wanna give you false hope but there IS the possibility of number 2, but i say you forget it, guys don't usually like it if you are too into them (i think)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): Don't worry, there could be a million reasons why he hasn't texted you back and why Tuesday didn't work out.
It's very possible that he has been completely swamped with some kind of work and simply hasn't gotten around to checking his cell phone or perhaps he kept meaning to, but forgot.
Or, maybe he's dealing with a sudden personal crisis; death of a loved one, loss of job, etc. This could explain why he's been missing in action for the past couple of days.
Don't get in a tizzy just yet. You've texted him and now it's up to him to respond. I know it's torture, but wait another couple of days before you text him again. Good luck, hope everything works out okay!
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A
female
reader, ingotblue +, writes (17 January 2007):
 it could be a case of hes lost your number or his phone and being a bloke didnt think to email you, you have checked your emails havent you?
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