A
female
age
30-35,
*olly
writes: Hi, I have recently met a very lovely guy on a dating site- we have seen each other via web camera, and have met a couple of times. I'm not sure how to break it to my mum, however. She is convinced that everyone on the internet is harmful, and while she is probably right for the most part, I'm worried it will get in the way, and she will shout and be unreasonable. I didn't meet my last boyfriend by the internet, but she still freaked out, because she'd hated him from the moment she saw him.This new guy's 27. I'm 18 now, but I'm still living under my Mum's roof, so it could make things difficult between us if she took it the wrong way.Should I wait before starting the relationship until I've moved out and gone to uni? I'm really not sure what to do.x
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female
reader, iamheretohelp +, writes (23 March 2008):
I dont think you really have to tell her....I think they shuld meet, and you tell her you meet him at work or someplace...then when she likes him, later on in the road,you can just tell her, OH, i met him online by the way.I dont thik its a big deal where you met him, and unless she DEMANDS to know where, you dont have to.this is just me talking though.
A
female
reader, Rolly +, writes (23 March 2008):
Rolly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShouldKnowBetter... the age gap is not the problem here, and I'd rather people didn't bring it up when it wasn't what I asked in the first place. What if I was 25 and he was 34, for example? Read the question again, then then you will see that not only have we have seen each other via web camera, we have also have met a couple of times. :)Dazzerg... thank-you, that is sound advice. I will be going to uni in just under 2 years (thanks to an unavoidable setback), but I think I will use what you've said and tell him. If it's real love, then it'll be able to wait...? :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): I think your mom might freak out more about the age diffrence rather then the meeting online but I don't know. I;m in the similar situation. I meet my boyfriend through my friends MySpace and my parents have never met him either I told my mom about him and she seemed to be ok with it and I hope to have him meet them soon. I'm 15 and he's 16 . Maybe you should ask your mom how she would feel if you meet someone realy great online . be casual and ask her to be reasonable and talk it out with her. Be calm and reasonable too. She's just looking out for your best interest. It's somthing that my mom would do too.
I hope this helped in some way...
good luck ! :)
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (23 March 2008):
Given the circumstances I feel that you may be better advised to wait until you move out. While you are living with your mum she will feel, rightly or wrongly, that she should have a say and it could cause friction between the two of you and I am assuming from your age that Uni is not to far away.
When you are moved out you will have the luxury of being able to settle into the relationship before dealing with how you are going to introduce him to your family. If you try and do it now in secret or telling your mum and having friction with her then it is going to be added pressure on a new relationship which wont really do either of you any favours and could cause problems that side of things too. When it does come to that time try and let your mum get to know him without introducing the internet thing until you are confident that you can. Good luck :).
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A
male
reader, ShouldKnowBetter +, writes (23 March 2008):
I would imagine that your mother would have more issues with the age difference given you are 18 and still at home than where you found him.Surely it is better to meet him in person and see how things work out before having to have a difficult conversation?
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