A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Am I being played, have I been played, or is this guy scared?I met a guy on a dating site, we began immediately talking by phone, we "clicked" and he called me almost every day, living two hours apart. Both busy, but him working two jobs and a teenage daughter to spend time with. I went to see him twice in the first six weeks we talked, me living in rural area with not much entertainment nearby, him in big city. We were very much "attracted", and always found plenty to talk about. Second visit, we had drinks and ended up having sex, a little awkward but hopefully would be better "next" time. We had not really talked about a lot of things like a relationship, I had made it plain I was NOT one to hop in the sack immediately. After I returned home, he still calls regularly, but, now there seems to be no plans of seeing each other again. I offered once more to go there (which I will not do again), he was extremely busy with some deadlines, plus his daughter doesn't live with him but is in and out of his home (she was out of town both times I visited). We have been talking for over three months, I've made it very plain that I don't see this as going anywhere, yet he still calls at least three times a week. I've never encountered a situation like this before, usually the guys is in, and we see each other regularly, or he is out, and he takes himself out of the picture. I might add that this guy is really nice, well mannered, entertaining, also somewhat on the workaholic side. I like him very much and he says he likes me, even said he would do anything in the world for me (ha!). He has also told me is "not looking", and also that even if he was interested in someone who lived on the same street as him, his time with them would be limited. He has been divorced and lived alone for most of 14 years. He was on the site for "dating". He tells me I think too much, there is nothing to worry about, nothing has changed. Yet he never gets into detailed explainations.I am very frustrated, yet glad I haven't developed emotional ties to him. We are more like an old married couple when we converse, talking about our day and our lives.
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Sorry, but he doesnt sound good. Id move on if I were you. If you want meaning and love I cant see how youd find it with this guy.
A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (26 August 2007):
 I's good that you haven't established any emotional ties with him. From what you wrote, "He has also told me is "not looking", and also that even if he was interested in someone who lived on the same street as him, his time with them would be limited." He gave a "disclaimer" here. I would not presume that he doesn't have someone on the same street, and that he doesn't give them much time, but he gives them some time. See what I'm saying. Paranoia never killed anybody, and a little healthy paranoia certainly doesn't hurt. If he was really into you, I think he would be banging your door down. He is showing a genuine interest, so I would suggest riding this one out. If you have a good time when you are together, then what's the harm. Enjoy your time together, and be genuine, but put as much stock in the relationship as he does. Don't make it easy for him either. If he wants to get together, tell him you can't for some reason. Give him another time when you could be together, but that you're busy when he wants you there. Don't do it every time, but enough to keep him guessing and he will start to feel your value. If he likes you, he will stick around, if he's playing you as you say, you should have an answer in about 3 months.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI meant he said he wasn't looking elsewhere.
...............................
|
