A
male
age
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*oejay
writes:I'm a single gentleman thats been divorced for nearly fourteen years. During this time most of my spare time has been raising my only child - a son. Now that he's off on his own at college there has been an enormous void in my life. I've tried to go out to bars to meet people but barely get in the door and find myself walking back out. It seems that the bars, to me, were always a 'meat market' and it just leaves me with an uneasy feeling. Now I have resorted to online dating service's.Well, anyways, after a couple of days I did meet this woman who seemed to be very sincere. After a couple of weeks we arranged a date at a local restaurant. As it turned out the woman I was expecting to meet was not the same woman in the picture - maybe a few years earlier. I was disappointed to say the least but managed to get through the evening just fine. I wasn't expecting a prom queen to show up but at least the woman in the picture. I'm a little apprehensive about continuing with the online dating thing. Don't get me wrong the woman was kind but I feel misled. Is this common thing with these services or what? Yes appearance does mean something to me as I'm sure it does with most men and woman. Just be up front and your much farther ahead. Thanks
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male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (3 December 2007):
 I understand why you would feel the way you did, after she sent you a picture. If it was an old picture, then this was stupid of her. She should have known that this would only disappoint. Unfortunately this is something that occurs in online dating, as it's very easy to lie about your looks. Pictures are unreliable. Sometimes they aren't even of the person sending you them!
In future, I simply advise you to keep an open mind. Don't trust pictures all the time, because as you find out, they are sometimes misleading.
A
female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (3 December 2007):
 If looks are all that matter to, then go to a strip club once a week, if thats all your after.
appearences shouldnt matter in a relationship, how shallow do you feel, knowing you only agreed to meet based on her pic?
heres a task for you, if you want to meet someone special, do not look at their pic, get to know the woman instead. this woman is well shot of you, should you give her a chance? dont you mean, should she give you another chance?
sorry. I know this is harsh, but sometimes people need a wake up call, and you seem to be one of those people, please dont take offense, just take in that looks should NEVER be the most important part of a relationship, after all, we all change and get old and so on.
please look beyond the face or the chest and waist size.
take care xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): Well I have never met anyone online so I don't know if that is a common thing. But I would be very upset too. So I absolutely know where you are coming from. I mean clearly it was VERY misleading for her to send you a picture that looked nothing like her. Like what the hell?Anyways, if you do a dating service where you actually pay, they will match you and you won't be decieved. But if you are just randomly meeting people on the internet then you are probably just going to meet alot of weirdos and liars.
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A
male
reader, joejay +, writes (3 December 2007):
joejay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for you reply. Your answers are very reassuring.I guess I need to rely a little more on my gut feeling.Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, kashagal  +, writes (3 December 2007):
 well with these services most people tend to not put their actual photos of how they actually look... i guess if appearances do mean alot to you then maybe shes not the right person for you, and also as she misled you. Or maybe you should give it another go as she was a nice person. You might be surprised to what you find out.
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (3 December 2007):
 To me it is sort of common in the online dating service business. People feel as if they have to hide how they really look as a form of desperation just to get others attention because they are not comfortable with the way they look. Your going to have to see past all the physical appearances. How a person looks isnt important but rather what their personality is like and what they can offer. Give this lady and chance and try to stop looking for the wrong thing in a woman. look for whats more important or you'll never seek a functional relationship that you are seeking to find. Good luck!
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