A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OK sorry if this becomes a bit long, but I want to put the whole story across! Thanks in advance for your patience Back in January I was on a work lunchbreak so went to get some food down the road, and whilst I was queuing this girl came in who just stole my attention immediately. Somehow it just came naturally to me to start chatting to her (I never do that!!), and we ended up spending lunch together. We chatted for ages, and it was clear we had loads in common and we swapped details before bidding goodbye. We met up again the next week, and arranged to meet the week after too. Sadly this was a really busy time for me as work was crazy and I had loads of other stuff on, so we couldn't meet up more often than this. For our third date we went to see PS I Love You, and afterwards I suggested we go out for a drink. I wasn't intending on staying out late as I had a critical day in work the next day, but one drink turned into a massive bar crawl and we kissed for the first time. She said how much she liked me, and got a bit emotional and didn't seem to believe I could feel the same (I later found out she has confidence issues, but I didn't realise this at the time!!). I went home with her as she was pretty far gone by the end of the night (and I wasn't far behind in the drunkness stakes), but then it became apparent she wanted to sleep with me... now I've never been in a relationship before, and wanted so badly for this one to work out as by now I was head-over-heels about her, I didn't want this to be some drunken mistake and far too early and risk that it seemed I took advantage. So I didn't sleep with her, though I did stay the night. The next morning (Friday) I woke up late with her in my arms, but I had to run into work and had no idea where we were - I was hungover, disorientated, didn't think, and just kissed her goodbye and bolted promising I'd be in touch. To be honest, the moment I shut her front door I did realise maybe I should have called in sick and stayed so we could have talked but it was just one of those days I had to be in and I seriously wasn't thinking straight. I rang her that evening to try to arrange a time to meet up again, but I was about to leave to be away all weekend, then she was with away her parents after that (I already knew that), and then I had to go abroad with work just as she came back. So I realised that we wouldn't see each other for 3 weeks, and even more annoyingly my work trip meant I missed valentines day. Before that we texted and spoke a lot, but the moment I went away it went all quiet despite my best efforts. Ultimately I came back, arranged to meet her, but later she texted saying that she wanted to meet still but as friends as she had started dating someone else she used to know at school. It was around this time I found out that my previous restraint might have given her the wrong signals, and I was completely devastated about this. However, I told her that it was probably a good idea and not to worry herself about me, as I was so busy anyway with my life that it was all a bit unfair on her, though I did just say this to make us feel better (it didn't work for me... I hurt a lot after this). However I didn't want to get in between her and this other guy, but a month later she dumped him as she found out he'd already got a girlfriend who was abroad. I decided to stay low-key, and then she graduated and moved away so we didn't have much opportunity to see each other at all. I spent the summer nursing massive regrets over February a lot in my quiet moments, but I kept in touch with her and gradually we e-mailed more and more, and then she invited me down to see her in the town she's now working. So the weekend before last I went. It was a lovely weekend. We just spent the whole time together; we chatted endlessly as we used to, and it just felt so *right*. We just seemed to be really 'couply' all weekend, and it was wonderful. We pedalloed on the lake, had a take-away together (hell we even managed to pick exactly the same thing on a 200-item menu!), watched saturday night trash, went out for a good dance and took lots of silly photos of each other, sat up til 4am chatting and eating chocolate, etc. She let me share her bed despite having a spare, then we lay there chatting til 1pm the next day but sadly I had to come back in the early afternoon. She gave me a really long hug at the station as we parted. Since then we've been in touch most days, even had a phone call over 2hrs long the other day, and she's always talking about how we should go away somewhere, etc. I'm 23yrs old, she's 22. I feel so strongly that we are so right together, it hurts. I've never had a relationship before despite having various crushes in my time, but this is the strongest I've ever felt for someone. But now we live quite far apart (but not impossibly, I'd have no problem seeing her at weekends and even midweek the odd night) and I have no idea where to go from here. I really want to talk about my feelings with her and find out what she feels too, but can't do it over the phone. Do you think I have another chance with her, and how should I go about this? I'm *hopefully* seeing her this weekend (she seemed pretty up for it) and I feel I should tell her my feelings - does everyone think I have a good chance, or have I missed the boat and we're just friends now? Thanks in advance :)
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confidence, crush, drunk, I love you, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Faybelline +, writes (1 October 2008):
 I agree, the signs all seem pretty positive.
Don't over analyse it; just do what you feel's right and, obviously don't force the issue but, like the first answer suggests, you could try and kiss her and see how it goes.
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, blackberry008  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 I really think she likes you. Do it, tell her! good luck!
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A
male
reader, Ed1337 +, writes (1 October 2008):
 It sounds like you might have a second chance, but you really need to stop letting your job control your life this time around. No job is more important than someone you care about, no matter how much you get paid.
Tell her how you feel, otherwise you might not get a third chance.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 October 2008):
I think it's pretty clear you two have a connection and if you are sharing a bed then I think you should just kiss her and see what happens.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Morp  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 You both are very hectic in work , and you both are building a good and strong relationship . No you havent lost , Women are just hard to understand it says in history . I had a relationship maybe it should help you . Its what im going through but i made the mistake . Im in 1 country and she is in another we just got bolted together and we never saw each others face at all it wasa online game . To put the fact short she sent me rosaes , a stop watch , over 190 sms in my phone , wakes me up at 6am in the morning , we shared our deepest secrets together , went on cam , spoke on phone , she even wrote a song for me and send it , she plays piano . I was drunk and i said something foolish cause she cared she btw was even planning to come see me on Dec . How GOOD IS THAT. But she said lets be friends for i want to love you but my other heart says no . Distance is always a problem but you both are busy and want to develop to feel secure ,, do get a webcam , and a headset or what you think best and at least still say the i love you each day ,, she will respect you and she will feel you care ,,so good luck as for me im trying to moven on its been 3 months everday nonstop me camming with her ,,see how strong women can be but the man suck in love games . YEAH stop drinking you might regret 1 day you said something that hurt a women . All the best and i wish you both will be together. Time just Time. You love her better splat it out to her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): just keep seeing her, if she wants to see you, then see her and tell her how you feel in person, don't think about negative things, you just have to stay positive.
When these things happen it feels so wonderful and right, and you can't afford to wait to reveal your feelings and let it pass you by, but it sounds like your still in early stages.
Go ahead and tell her how you feel :)
There's no harm in trying, if you do it right you'll either remain friends of be a couple depending on what she wants. If you don't try though, soon she will just think that your not interested and move on.
From there, things should get more serious and it'll be a lot clearer
Good Luck x
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