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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi hope someone can help me as I feel so down I've been with my boyfriend for 19 month we have a 4 month old daughter I know it happened quick we have a good relationship we never argue always laughing but I feel like a single parent he has not done a single night feed he only stays once a week and he comes round on weekdays but only stays for a hour he never tells me he loves me or never cuddles me only when he wants sex once a week when he stays what should I do thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2015): You should drop the baby over at his house a few times a week. He's a father and should act as such.
You two don't have a relationship. Why are you not living together?
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 March 2015):
 Yep, you ARE a single parent.
Showing up once a week doesn't make him a parent. Does he AT LEAST help pay for the child? Or does he think showing up ONCE a week means he doesn't HAVE to contribute to the cost of raising HIS child?
Or does he simply show up for the "free sex" and company?
If it's the latter, are you happy with that? Does that work for you? If not, tell him and kick him to the curb and file for child support.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 March 2015):
 I have to agree with Ciar.
You ARE a single parent !- a single parent who only has a casual arrangement, a sort of FWB thing, with the baby daddy. You have chosen to call him and see him as your boyfriend, but he does NOT act like a boyfriend, if he only stays over once a week for sex, and makes just an occasional weekday dash at yours to say hi .
As an FWB thing ir would be OK, I guess: fun, friendly.breezy and carefree; if you want it to be more .... well, it's not, and I do not see him volunteering any changes , if the birth of a daughter has not had any influence in bringing you closer than this.
For him it's :if it ain't broke don't fix it. This arrangement works well for him. Of course you can tell him that you want him more present in his daughter's life, and more cooperative, and ASK him to help you out more ; but he sounds just the type who will be , not so much resentful of your request, as just.... genuinely surprised , like " Who, me !? Why me, what have I got to do with YOUR problem ? "
Is he at least contributing MONEYWISE toward rising his daughter ? That's a responsibility that you OWE ro your daughter not letting him shirk. So be it for not changing diapers and stuff... but child support NEEDS to be agreed upon and regulated - through a Court if needs be.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 March 2015):
 Um...you ARE a single parent and it appears you're a single woman as well.
You said he 'only stays once a week' and 'only comes round' for sex.
OP, I hate to say this but you're a booty call. This is hardly a relationship in the sense you mean it and how it can be considered good is a mystery.
Steer this arrangement away from your home (and his obviously) by meeting him for lunch or something in a public place. Don't let him come home with you. See how that goes. If you start seeing less of him, you'll see him for what he is. Or...maybe he'll be more interested in you and his daughter and start to act like a real human being.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (14 March 2015):
 He comes and goes as he wishes because you never complain. You have a good friendship but the romance is lacking right from the beginning. If he doesn't love you then sex is meaningless. You only see what he's doing when you don't get enough help with your daughter. Kind of too late to set boundaries when you had always been easy going. Maybe you take it for granted that a relationship progresses and it just happens but nowadays you have to be sure about people's intentions. On his side he may think you are a good friend who happens to fall pregnant. He didn't feel worried about contraception, didn't freak out when you got pregnant. Maybe he feels proud that he's a father but that's it. When it comes to the daily drone of taking care of a baby he wants none of it. If he doesn't love you that's unlucky for you but he is responsible for his daughter. He has no excuse to treat him like how he treats you, as a friend. Time to talk to the court about child support and visitation. Based on how the court interprets him they would determine whether you should get sole custody. At least you a certain amount each month so it helps even though he's not physically there most of the time.
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