A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Someone who is ment to be my best friend he's bisexual. About 6 months ago started speaking more and more to this lad. He eventually started coming out with us and it got to the stage where he would come out with us everytime we went out. My friend would always pick him over me. This carried on and eventually my friend would go out with this other boy and I'd be left out. Me and this boy fell out because I'd said he was taking over etc. This upset me so much what had been happening with me being left out. These days were the worst of my life. Felt like I'd lost the most important friend in my life (I also have strong feelings for him. I have done for 4 years). This boy is now really obsessive and always gets my friends sympathy. One day we was all out and me and my friend walked him home. Then my friend was going to walk me home and we decided that i would stay at my friends house. So i did. My friend said he was going to bed so he went upstairs. So i went on the laptop downstairs and found he was on msn talking to this boy on the laptop upstairs. I spoke to him and he blocked me and blamed me because this boy wasn't happy that I'd slept round. He started saying to my friend it was all my plan to walk him home so I could stay. when it wasn't. So the next day I heard my friend on the phone to this lad asking if he was okay. Later on my friend was being horrible and sent me home then invited this boy round. Things like this always happen. This boy was moody with my friend for having a picture of me and him on his myspace. So he took it off because this boy wasn't happy. Me and my friend ended up falling out over something stupid which caused us not to hang around in school. So I now hang around with people who hardly notice me. We made up but he pretended we wasn't friends to this lad. When my friend would come out with me. It was mainly because his boyfriend wasn't coming out. I was the reserve option. Because he wouldn't be happy about it. My friend phoned me every so often and was saying he was getting sick of this boy. For the first time in months my friend came round to my house. We was very excited about seeing eachother. Him and his boyfriend (not because he came out with me, because of other reasons) and My friend came round more. He started feeling really depressed because this boy was going out with his cousin and people and I was there for him. I took him to see someone about his depression. Days later. they made up but decided they could have freedom. So still.. Every so often my friend would invite me out/round. But we would have to lie and say we had been out because this boy would start asking questions if he had been at my house. He is a very obsessive and controlling person. My friend would do anything to please him. But anyway. This boy knew me and my friend had been going out places. But recantly all of a sudden when me and my friend was walking to lesson in school because we met up in the yard. he said to me when we got neer this boys class I'm gonna avoid you now'. The next day Ii asked why he was doing this and he said because he moans and he can't be botherd with it. Other things happened like he would go out with this lad and other people more often. He would have them on his personal message with thumbs up nent to their names but he would never include me. When I'm the one who's been there for him. Today I was walking with him to lesson and he saw one of jacks friends as well as his own. He said to me.. walk on!. So that she wouldn't see him with me and tell his boyfriend. (their relationship is secret. There's about 2 people that know. I'm one of them). But this really gets to me and the science lesson I had after that incident. A boy asked what was wrong so I told him that my friend kept not wanting to be seen with me because this other boy moans. So my friend does what he wants. Later on through the day I went into his english class to hand something in to their teacher because I used to be in that set but now I moved. He said "oh your looking very streaky" as a joke kind of thing. (because of my makeup) then he turned away and kept speeking to someone who hes been out with a few times. I left their classroom and after our lesson I saw him with the boy who I'd spoken to in science. I went up to my friend and he told me to go away.. and tried 2 make it seem a bit jokey to me but on the other hand serious. I said right then and walked the other way. I saw him indoors with this lad again and told him to come here and he said no and I said have you fell out with me? He looked at me as if to say 'we wasnt friends anyway' kind of look. That lesson after it I sat with my head down and cried secretly. I sent him a text asking why he was like that but he didn't reply. I thought it may of been ither because that boy had said id said something. Or because my friend didn't want this boy telling his boyfriend he'd been speaking to me. But other days he was ok with this boy seeing us speek so why today. Anyway after school I met the girl who I walk home with and she said 'im not walking with you if ur gona be like this' because I was depressed. But she did. When I got home I rang the boy who Id spoken to in my science lesson and asked him if he had said anything and he said he had said to my friend 'Why are u being a d*ick to her, I've seen you' and my friend said 'because I hate her' This was before I saw him in the yard when he told me to go away. I don't know where I stand now, If he's my friend or what. Our friendship was so strong. We had a brilliant connection and because of this lad.. he basically left me for him. These past 6 months have been the worst of my life. I cry every night and there's always something to be upset about. I drop everything for him. Had gone back to him even after he had left me for this person. Iv'e been a really good friend, I dont deserve this. I have told him how its not fair on me. But he doesn't care. He's more interested in his life with his boyfriend and their friends than he is about my feelings. Because I'm in love with him doesn't help either. I'm stuck on what to do. I come home some days and want to sleep the day away because I have nothing to be awake for and I want my troubles to go away. Id love to go to sleep and never wake up. I mainly want to escape all this and have my friend back like it used to be but I don't see that happening. I can't just forget about him.. because when were together we have a special bond. We think the same. act the same. like the same things. Its like were a match. But I'm stranded. Please help me. Thank you
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female
reader, cheekyme +, writes (1 October 2008):
 to be honest he dosnt really sound like a good friend infact he dosnt sound like a friend at all. you can do so much better, you sound like a really good friend that dosnt wont to lose the relationship you two had but thats obviously not what he wants. you dserve better and i think u should back off him and ignore him a bit to see how he responds make some new friends and make him jealous that u have new friends you would rather be with and see how he reacts to that and if he dosnt care then that obviously prooves he is not a good mate.
ditch him is the best option hes not worth it you can do better he dosnt deserve such a good friend like you sorry =]
GOOD LUCK !! XX
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