A
female
age
41-50,
*uchika
writes:i'm very much depressed not to work and study. please get me out of this. We were good friends, then best and then had sexual relationship. but the thing is I;m married and he is already dating a girlfriend since 5 yrs! we knew that we dont put eachother on priority , we both love our own partners only but i think we just found different way or exciting to get off from daily boring life. we continued the relationship anyway. but now he suddenly stopped talking me and is busy flirting with my friend! of course we both were pretty involved in this relationship but now i feel whatever i put trust on him, he is not worth of that. and its quite insulting when he dosent reply to my call but the same time he calls the new Friend! Sometimes i get envy on him to take revange, sometimes to forgive because im not like him to react with? how do i patch up? he is really nice i dont want to end this relationship in a bad way.please help me out.ip.
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affair, best friend, depressed, flirt Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Dear Ruchika
I am happy if I could be of assistance; you are welcome anytime.
Lots of hugs and always try to keep SMILING.
A
female
reader, ruchika +, writes (25 October 2008):
ruchika is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks ...thanks a lot again. God bless you. Be in touch.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Dear Poster
Thanks for the update. I can sense you are unhappy and angry. I can understand that; but let it go; don't allow him and the other girl to upset you; ignore there flirting and pretend you don't care; concentrate on positive things; think how fortunate you are that your eyes opened in time and you can now see what a player this guy is;
Be grateful for what you have and think of ways to spoil your husband and to "spice up" your marriage again.
He will get his turn to experience pain and hurt but don't you do anything to enflict him any harm; No focus on positive things and make your life a happier one;
Set free the feelings of anger and all emotions attached to this guy; let it go with the wind; take control of yourself and your emotions and treasure your husband and your marriage.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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A
female
reader, ruchika +, writes (25 October 2008):
ruchika is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey dear, i know whats going around,i got into this just because i left alone when my husband wasn't there with me. i went crazy with the loneliness and most probably..... when my husband couldn't notice my problem, i didn't want to disturb him with my things as well coz he was too much busy with duties....no complains.
and the same time he was my co worker. we were same at our interests, fun, duties and many other things. then happened the physical one.this was what i was thinking.Later on he started avoiding me,sometimes directly. i took some time to let him feel free of me, not compelling to come to me or else other things. but after some period i couldn't tolerate seeing him flirting with my best friend...........in the same way what we had started! i pretty know they are not going physically or the next girl is not that interested in him. but now i see he is hiding her things, their talks and so is her! why dear? i didn't ever make them to feel that I'm getting angry and insulted with their meets even in front of me.
I know i went wrong, i cheated my husband, myself too but whatever i did i did it honestly,i trusted and why didn't he? sometimes i kept track what he really think about me but its really wasted my time. i will always choose my husband before him, i think it was just a physical need to me but this behaviour of him makes me screwed up. feeling to take revenge on him,but that's not me. I want him to go through this all and to feel the same pain which im going through and suferred. Its insulting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008):
Thanks for the update. It is so good to hear from you again. I am happy if I could be of assistance. You are welcome. I think you are a very wise and intelligent person and you knew the answer but just needed somebody to confirm and reassure you. Get into counseling for no other reason but for YOU to reap the benefits. You will look at life with different eyes and you will learn how to FOCUS on your future.
Good luck and please do keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, ruchika +, writes (24 October 2008):
ruchika is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks dear thanks a lott. when we go through the situation actually i think we cant see ourself as a third person to realise the mistake!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): You have some serious problems and I suggest you consult a counselor to help you sort out the problems you need to deal with.You are married, yet you are obsessed with this guy. Please do think carefully about what you are busy doing. You are playing with fire and can get your fingers burnt badly. STOP feeling sorry for yourself and allow this guy to move on and have other friends.You should concentrate on what is wrong in your marriage. Why do you need the excitement and attention of this guy?Please do get counseling before you get hurt even more.GOOD LUCK.
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