A
female
age
36-40,
*oil
writes:I met a guy on line. Things were going better then expected. I found out he was still actively on more then one dating website. Even tho I know we owe eacn other nothing yet and he has full right to be dating around. I went on the website and made a profile that would not be hard for him to figure out it was me, I read his profile. The site tells you who someone have viewed you, I saw he viewed me and then texted me right away. No mention of the website. The next night I realized I had to delete because I think on a subconscious I did it so he would think I am crazy and stop talking to me. Sorta as a pre closure thing. (I have been very badly hurt in the past and trying to get over it still) I texted him last night and no reply. He has never not replied to me. If he does message me again should I come clean. Or just take as a lesson learned for the future
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (6 April 2013):
 Why would you want him to think you are crazy when things were going well, maybe you were testing him based on how you have been treated in the past.
You kinda set him up and if he's realised it was you, he's going to think you are checking up on him and that's a little weird. Denise is right, dating is just dating until you decide to take things to the next level.
You can't punish guys for the mistakes other guys have made with you...it's not fair. If he does contact you again, I am not sure if what you did could be reasonably explained away, but if he asks you 'what was that?' then maybe you should fess up.
Take your time with dating and don't expect too much to happen at the start, enjoy the dates but try not to look too far ahead or over think.
A
female
reader, poil +, writes (6 April 2013):
poil is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you.... I am not sure what I was expecting when I made this post, but I acted in a crazy way which I am not proud of. Your right I need to learn to go with the flow and need to get my sh!t together. If the rolls were reverse I would be soo turned off. I have been working on my issues and slowly passing them. Going forward I will need to keep the crazy down or realize I am not ready to date
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (5 April 2013):
With all due respect you probably need to get your sh!t together before you start dating. You barely know the guy and you're already doing weird things because of your insecurity.
Also what makes you think that him not replying is a response to your ad? Sometimes people are busy and just forget.
Other than pointing these things out I'm not sure how I can help you. But I honestly think it may not be time for you to date, or if that's not something you want to do you need to work on "going with the flow" a little more.
He's going at his pace and playing by his rules. You should do the same (ie don't play games or try and manipulate him). If you two are good for each other you'll be together, if you're not you won't.
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A
female
reader, poil +, writes (5 April 2013):
poil is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes we have met. I have no clue to what I was thinking to do that. Moment of weakness:(
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (5 April 2013):
 Let's see if I can get get this straight:
You "met" a guy online. Did you at any time meet him IN PERSON??
As you said, even if you did actually meet once or twice you owe one another NOTHING. The "rules" of dating are that both people are perfectly free to date others, UNLESS and UNTIL after dating for a few months you BOTH AGREE to be exclusive. That means not only do you not date anyone else; you also don't have sex with anybody else either.
What ever possessed you to put (another?) profile on the dating website so he would realize it was you?
Having been hurt in the past is never something easy to deal with, or welcome, but its part of life.
Whether or not he gets in touch with you now, you can still take this as a lesson learned. Don't say anything to him about the duplicate website, not to begin with. "See how it goes, and if he asks about it, come clean. Alternatively, later on when and if you become established as a couple, then you could tell him if you decide to.
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