A
female
age
30-35,
*iede
writes:My problem started last week, i made a stupid mistake a really stupid mistake.something i thought i would never do.and i regret it with all my heart .the only problem is that what i did affected someone very very close to me and no matter how many times i say i am sorry it just doesn't matter .she is someone who i can't even describe with words.she is my best friend and sometimes i feel like she is apart of me to the extend that every thing i do i wait for her reaction to know if i was right or wrong.i hurt her badly to the point that she wouldn't even talk to me anymore.well,she talks but only when i talk to her.she is really disappointed in me and it is making me feel hurt .i have said i am sorry more than i can remember and it doesn't matter I've begged her to talk to me and when she finally did. her words were more painful than anything i ever heard and know she is upset.All of this doesn't really matter . i can it and live with it .the thing i can't stand that feeling of emptiness inside of me, i don't want to talk to anybody but her ,i don't want to do anything.i feel this tightness in my chest all the time and my head is beating all the time . i can't even sleep well anymore.i miss her very bad.i feel like a piece of me is missing ,a piece i can't seem to function without.i just need to know how to earn her trust can and how to make time goes by fast so we can be friends again?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 November 2012):
 You really need to stop beating HER up for the way she is reacting.
You did something you call a "stupid mistake" (yet if it was "just a stupid mistake" why haven't you bothered explaining it to us all?) Is it because it wasn't such a minor transgression?
If the roles were reversed - would YOU just chalk til up to a mistake?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): She'll still be hurt over what it is you did, I think it will take a bit more time yet, but things sound like they're on the right track. Actually, things have changed more than i thought they would in a short space of time. You went from her only replying to you as if it were an obligation, to travelling to/from work together and are on speaking terms. From the sound of your original post, what you did was something unforgivable for most people. She says she will never trust you again, but if she really felt that way, I don't think it would be a wise idea for her to even associate with you full stop, let alone attempt to re-establish a friendship. Again, just be patient with this. The best way to understand where she is coming from, is to try to imagine yourself in her shoes, if it was her who broke your trust in such a bad way, what would your reaction and best way to deal with this be?...
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A
female
reader, Hiede +, writes (20 November 2012):
Hiede is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit is been a few days now and the only words we exchange are very very formal .now we go to work together and go home together and set next to each other at work . it is the longest 8 hours of my day.what hurts me the most about the whole thing is that she decided to sum me up to one thing....to see me through one situation....as if she never knew me....sometimes i think she is over reacting ..other times i feel she is absolutely right ..i don't know what to think anymore .....I am really sorry for bothering all of you , it is just that i can't talk about this to anyone else..nobody knows about our fight.. and this site seems like a good way for me to vent out.. when the only person i really wanna talk to about this whole thing treats me like a total stranger..thank you.
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A
female
reader, Hiede +, writes (16 November 2012):
Hiede is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni sent her a message this morning and her answer was simply that she is disappointed and doesn't really trust me anymore her final words (leave it to time ,it can heal anything)i am not complaining i have no right to ....
my problem is that we work together every single day .we practically sit at the same desk . it is going to be awkward and weird for both of us .i don't even know how we can work together when we can't even look at each other.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 November 2012):
I think Anon Male said it perfectly..
Read and re-read his answer til it sinks in.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012): "I made a stupid mistake. How can I make things right again?"You may not be able to make things right. Actions have consequences, consequences have effects, initial effects cause ripple effects that you can't reverse. You have set in motion a potential chain of events over which you ultimately have no control, "i just need to know how to earn her trust can and how to make time goes by fast so we can be friends again?"You can't dictate the terms of when, or even if, your friend will ever trust you again or even speak to you again.If you were truly remorseful, then you would be more concerned over the harm your action caused your friens and how much pain and suffering she is enduring, not fretting about how badly you feel. You have taken zero responsibility for the consequences of your actions; your friend didn't do anything to deserve what happened to her, YOU did.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (16 November 2012):
Tough to prescribe a medicine when you dont know exactly what the ailment is....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012): It's hard to give you advice without knowing the mistake OP the only thing we can say without that info is time and patience.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012): It might help if you explained what exactly you did that was so bad...
But generally if you two were that close, and what you did was that bad, its hardly surprising she's taking it so badly and doesn't just want to forgive you just like that as if it was nothing. The fact that she's talking to you still, albeit only when you initiate it is a good sign, it means she doesn't want to just throw away what you had over this. It could be worse, she could totally blank you period!
Just be patient with her, she may come round in her own time when she's ready.
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A
female
reader, tibob  +, writes (16 November 2012):
 Why don't you let her know how you are feeling right now? I think that if she reads your post, she'll surely understand how you regret what you did. You did nnot give any details what you did to her, so it will be difficult for us to understand very well her response.
Maybe, you should give her time and not keep pushing her like this.
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