A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About a year ago, my girlfriend, of about a year at the time and i, broke up, i stupidly got drunk to deal with it and slept with a girl who id been friends with and known for a while. I hated myself for it after and my girlfriend and i got back together after about 3 weeks. I couldnt tell her because i knew it would destroy her and i thought no one else would of known. Turns out im wrong and im scared to death some ones gona tell her because they would probably love to see me crash and burn. I love my girlfriend to bits and couldnt bare to hurt her, i just wana move forward but this is hanging over me and i feel like this relationships a roulette that could end at any minute.
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broke up, drunk, got back together, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): you need to just tell her the absolute truth. if you guys broke up and you got drunk (thats not an excuse) but love is a hard thing and explain that to her that you were really devestated over the break up. You need me to totally honest, continuing a relationship with her without being honest will only break you two down slowly and youll never be the same tell her you want to move forward thats why you want to be completely honest and when you do tell her just give her time to digest it.
A
female
reader, InvisibleMe +, writes (5 January 2010):
 ok.. dont do what i would and say "oh.. no.. they are telling lies!! I didnt do that!" you will probably just be digging a bigger hole for youself (i was about to say you cant dig youself out a hole but you can if you dig steps?.. anyway) and she will be even madder when she finds out not only did you sleep with someone else shortly after breaking up with her but you lied to her about it. just tell her you got drunk depressed and were trying to move on but after it you realised you couldnt because she is the only girl for you and it was a stupid mistake you feel terrible about it and tell her how special she is to you. If she doesnt forgive you its her loss not yours as you do seem very caring. good luck xx
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A
female
reader, nicegirl10  +, writes (5 January 2010):
I disagree. If you two were not together when this happened. Why should you feel so guilty? Things happen. You never know she might of has been with another guy then as well. But my opinion of this if you two were not together at the time it is not as bad. But if you two were together you shouldn't ever put yourself in the position to cheat on someone you love so much.
If this girl is someone that she knows like her friend. This will be even worse. But I think you should tell her the truth. You should tell her before anyone else does. It would be best coming from you first before someone else. If you really love her you will own up to your mistake and not make the same mistake again. Sex really isn't everything. You need someone to make you happy in life and sex is just extra.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 January 2010):
All I can say is you were both apart at the time. She will be upset that it happened if she finds out either way. But if you think that someone is going to tell her, do it yourself first and hope for the best. It would be better come from you first.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 January 2010):
Well first off, you were broken up. Unless she promised to get back with you or you both promised to stay faithful, then you were a free man at the time.
Secondly you need to figure out what the chances are of her actually finding out.
Do you want to tell her to be truthful, or because you think it will make you feel less guilty?
I'd leave things be to be honest. If it comes up then be honest, but other than that just get over it.
Good Luck!! xx
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