A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was with my girlfriend for a year and a half when she broke up with me out of the blue. We were in college together and I'm pretty sure she left me for another guy although I was never able to catch them together acting anything more than friends. Summer came and I made an effort to win her back. The guy was out of the picture by then. We started hanging out again, although she refused to actually date me. She went back to college in the fall and we were still seeing each other, but I was having a lot of insecurity about where I stood with her. Sometimes I would text her and she wouldn't text me back right away claiming she was busy doing homework or something. I stopped texting her and eventually she stopped texting me. Later I found out she was mad I wasn't texting her so she stopped, while I stopped because she wasn't texting me. So after a month of not talking, we end up at a party together and she's pretty much ignoring me. I got too drunk and got it into my head that she was trying to hook up with some guy she was talking to. Only later learned it was her childhood friend that's gay. Because I was mad, I ended up going home with this girl that my ex is sort of friends with that sleeps with everyone. Stupid I know, but I was upset. My ex now thinks I am totally disgusting and says she won't ever give me another chance because of what I did. How can I make her not think so badly of me and get her to at least talk to me again?
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male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (14 February 2011):
 You can't. She dumped you man. She obliviously does not want to be with you. It's over. Deal with it.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (14 February 2011):
Like dirtball said, you need to move on from here. It was obvious that she didn't want to date you again even before this drunken incident. She said it herself. All she wanted from you was a friendship.
All you can really do is tell her that you made a really dumb mistake and that you regret it. After that, don't be around her. Start moving on with your own life. Fall back on your friends and start meeting new people to make some new ones. Trust me, its much easier to get over someone when they aren't the center of your life. Make different things your focus and start moving forward and away from her. It'll only continue to hurt you the more you're around her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): Firstly why do you care what your ex thinks of you? She's your ex and that's the way it should stay.
You need to move on. Having this girl in your life is doing nothing but bringing you misery anyway and now is your chance to let go. So just go ahead and do that.
You and her just don't work as a couple, so what you want is not going to happen. So honestly being her friend or having her liking you is just making this process harder because you're not actually letting go at all. You're still clinging to her and look at what it's making you do, honestly man are you proud of the way you act when she's around?
Crazy jealous, possessive and making an absolute idiot and asshole of yourself. All over a girl or is the whole being abusive and confrontational then sleeping with the town bike things you normally do?
This is one of those cases where there is nothing you can do to make her like you again and you really shouldn't anyway because she makes you crazy, she makes you do incredibly moronic things, you can't possibly feel good about how you act and react to her, so tell me what is the point of having her in your life? You can't stand the things you do when she's around and I'm pretty sure you're not happy about being a slimy, whiny little mess of a person when she's around, so why do you persist?
There is absolutely nothing good about having her in your life so let her go. Regain some composure and dignity. You tried it didn't work out, so you flipped out and acted like a complete douchebag and now you're wondering how you can make it better so you can start doing all that crap again?
How does that make sense to you? How can you possibly still be chasing a girl that has that kind of effect on you and please don't be insulted or feel bad but what makes you think she'll ever want to be with a guy who acts that way ever again? Would you want to date a girl who acted that way? No you wouldn't.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 February 2011):
 You can't. Only time and space can do that. Move on dude, this is going no where. Let her be part of your past. You two couldn't communicate as it was, so you have little chance of reconciliation here.
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