A
female
age
30-35,
*dviceGiverandReceiver
writes:Well with my last few boyfriends, they have always said "I love you" in the first few days of us going out. It really bugged me, and I did kind of love them but it was more of a crush/fancying them at that stage. How can I stop guys I date from saying "I love you" too soon? I feel that if they say it too soon, it's not special and they don't really mean it.I don't want to feel forced to reply with "I love you too" if I know I don't mean it yet...Help?
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female
reader, AdviceGiverandReceiver +, writes (25 May 2009):
AdviceGiverandReceiver is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank's for the replies, guys. I don't think it's to 'get into my pants' as this has happened since I was about 9 or 10 :P. I do feel it's because we are so young, and don't fully understand it. I mean some people my age do, I believe I should only say 'I love you' to someone I really do love, not just to someone I fancy. I don't mind if they say "ily" or "ly" in text/instant messenger. But when they say it to your face, it just feels rushed :(
A
male
reader, turtle86  +, writes (24 May 2009):
 At our ages guys just think that girls want to hear that. I mean some guys might love you but usually it's cause they think you want to hear it. Now I might be wrong but here it goes.Love for these guys might actually be liking her but saying "I like you," isn't as powerful; you know what I mean. So I am guessing they probably don't or they haven't thought it through properly. Guys at that age have a tendency to say stuff they don't mean. Also ever thought of the sex portion of a relationship? Saying I love you just to get in your pants. Hope this helped. [:
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): i think you just have to be honest and say early on first date - "if you dare say it too soon - by that i mean within 3 years, i will kick you in the nuts. Say it when you mean it, not when you think you mean it".
e.g . drop in to the conversation kind of thing...
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Don't say it back, you don't have to. But question why they say it. Is it to sleep with you or do they (strangely) love you from first sight? My bets are on the first or you have incredibly good taste in romantic guys who genuinely think they love you, I'm thinking it's more lust but from your age I'm guessing they're in their teens so it'll probs be the latter.
Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (24 May 2009):
 When a man says it to you instead of replying 'i love you too' when you dont even mean it, just say to him- 'really? you really mean that?' and if he says yes just say aww thanks. haha. you cant stop someone saying something but if you dont feel the same you cant lie about it!
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