A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone,i hope someone can give me a sensible answer,without accusing me of anything as i seem to see a lot of aunts making assumptions,when its advice people are asking for.i been with my fella just under four years and the first 2 were kind of hell for me,i was eaten up by jealousy and i accused him of all sorts,and i actually realised i was paranoid,so with self help i managed to control my jealousy,but now my fella is jealous and is accusing me of all kinds of cheating,websites,e-mails,chat sites even says i got myself a man,why would i want a man when i got 1 that i love with all my heart,i fancy like crazy,whom is fantastic in bed and my kids think the world of him,lately things have gotten worse between us due to his constant accusing and rejection,i even attacked him because i cant handle being called a liar when i know ive never been unfaithful to him and he wont believe me,it hurts me to know that i was capable of lashing out at the man i want and love so much and dont want to be without him
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I think he’s got every right to question you. I somehow think you have brought it on yourself and the jealousy you had from the beginning stems from the belief that because you are capable of having little secrets means that everybody else does. It’s not always so. You attacked him for catching you because it’s a way of not wanting to face up to it. He has accused you because you lied. (Why else would you lie?). As for his rejection, why not use this as an excuse for when he catches you again? I can’t believe you are 41 - 50. This is behavior you should have left behind you in your teenage years.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): If you change your story,then you have lied several times. I`m not saying i`m 100% right here,but where I`m standing,you seem dishonest and you have been caught cheating. It is anything but real love you hold for this guy. You are maybe not as clever as you thought you were. Stop stringing your guy along. He`s not stupid.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): It sounds very fishy to me. A woman who claims to love her guy yet cheats? A guy who needs a good kick up his ass and made to see what a pushover he is. He`s good in bed yet rejects her. Last but not least,she attacks him seemingly when she gets caught lying and cheating,and believe me she is!!!! This problem was not put here to try and solve,but to get out of a corner she put herself in.This relationship should have ended before it began.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): YOU ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO GO ON ADULT WEBSITES? SURELY NOT !!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): I am the person who`s the subject of this question. Firstly,she has several profiles,email addresses etc. More often than not i have been accused of this myself by her. She has never had any grounds,just suspicion. I have seen sexual conversations involving much younger guys. I have accused her because she accidently let slip a mobile number. When i asked who`s it was,she denied knowledge,only to change her story several times. Further more i found out she text him 14 times in the one hour,texts first thing in the morning and last thing at night.Her latest answer is that its her cousin.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): i am the original writer of this letter and just to clarify things he accuses me of visiting web sites because they are in my history,all my children have open access to the computer and i know they have visited porn sites etc,yet he believes its me,yet i aint got time for that,also im watched if i go on his computer to the point where i just come off it as i feel uncomfortable
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Sometimes when people accuse other of cheating it is because they are guilty of it. But I'm not saying that's what is happening here. How could he dream up emails, chat sites, etc. if you haven't done anything?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Hi, Firstly,theres a chance something has given him reasons and doubts. You must surely have some idea what started these allegations. Why would he dream up things like chat sites and emails out of nothing? Maybe you yourself could be dismissing or refusing to answer or talk about anything which has triggered his behavior.It`s clear that he`s obviously stumbled upon something.As for having another man.Is this just something he`s made up? or is it a certain man? Do you know this man? It sounds like theres a lot of unsolved issues he needs answering? I dont want to make assumptions either but the tone of your question seems like you want to gather support,not solve a problem,which i believe youre not prepared to compromise on.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Hi
Its awful isnt it when someone wont believe your worthyness towards them! Its like banging your head against a brick wall!
To be honest, i have never managed to convince guys i wouldnt cheat on them, but i think that says a lot about the type of guys i go for, in the past anyway.
Maybe couple counselling would help. I dont know. Worth a go?
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, war37 +, writes (13 September 2007):
Hi ThereThere is some reason why he is qustioning you.....The trouble is you have to think long and hard as what it may be?Has something happened recently to make him feel insecure?Do you say spend more time online then you used to?Are friends gossiping?Has someone he knows been cheated on and its made him nervous?Have you been out and just chatted to another guy and someone saw you and told your guy?For this just to start there has to be a reason hey?It may be easier to write dwon nicely how things are between you,explaining how you know hes feeling insecure but you do love him and wouldnt think of cheating on him?The only person that can feel ok about this and get over this is him?You can just be there for him explaining calmly and lovinly you love him and have never cheated?Why not show him this website with your question then he may see its the truth?Good luck xx
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