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male
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anonymous
writes: i love this girl but i dont know if she loves meI love this girl who says that she loves me but she has a boyfriend. She says that she loves him too but why would she say that she loves me as well. We've had sex already and that makes me believe that she loves me but then again why is she still with her boyfriend. She's cryed on the phone telling me that she loves me and she always says it when we're alone but when she's with her boyfriend she is all up on him and acts as if i dont exist and its the exact opposite when she's with me. I got sick of her being with her boyfriend so i wrote her a letter that i was sick of waiting for her to break up with her boyfriend i have been waiting around a month and a half and she still hasnt broken up with her boyfriend the message told her that if that i was sick of her and that all she probably does is lie to me about loving me. I told her not to call me unless she broke up with her boyfriend, she wants to have sex cause she's really atracted to my body, and unless she has something really important to tell me. I said that she made all of the stuff we had done and all the trouble we had goten in worth nothing. She hasnt called me for a day going for two now and i dont know if i did the right thing. I really need some advice and some help cuz im so confused right now!!!!!!!now im just wondering if she ever did love meas much as she said she wouldPLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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broke up, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006):
ask her if she would leave her boyfriend for you and how much she loves you if she says no and says she lves you ldz then forget her
A
female
reader, steemo  +, writes (13 October 2006):
 ask her then you will no for sure i no its hard to do but be brave or get a mate to ask her wat she thinks of you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2006): Unfortunately, by having sex with you, she was cheating on her boyfriend. She should never have become involved with you while dating him.
What she's doing is not fair to either of you. She has been using you. She likes your body, but that's it. If she really respected you - and him - she would either end it with him, and date you, or decide that much as she likes you for sex, that she values her relationship with him more and doesn't care to jepardize it by cheating.
In my book, its okay to date more than one person at a time, but my expectation (and maybe most others) is that once you become sexually intimate, then you don't sleep with anyone else. Of course, this is something to state early on! Not on the first date, because you don't know if there will be a second date, but if there is, then that's the time to raise it, then or on the third one.
But to answer your question: yes, you did the right thing. You wrote and told her clearly what your position is and that you're not willing to put up with things as they have been. That's called integrity. Now its up to her. If she doesn't contact you, or continues to stall - as she's been doing for the last month - you're better off without her. Sorry this is so upsetting for you.
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