A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to her since last 9 months. 16 days ago I told her everything, how I feel. While I was telling her all my feelings she was smiling in between...I felt that she already knew I was going to propose to her soon and we had a chat that time in that she didn't say no or yes. But she said its not good for her and me as well.Now after that whenever we meet she shows nothing had happened. But i've seen her, she does looks at me...she understands what's up with me...for 2 days she didn't talk with me..I felt bad and I felt I should also not talk just not to hurt her or disturb her...So for 2 days I was around her....I was not talking with her. She knew that because I always tries to talk with her and now I wasn't talking...so 2 days went like that...I was very upset and I love very much.Whenever I see her I feel an unknown fear of losing her...that night I sent her a message that I still believe you and only you can help me through my problem...next day she saw I was tensed..so she herself start talking with me..she asked me some random question. I was surprised, I looked at her in a shocking look and kept looking for a few seconds then I gave a smile without replying to her question and she also smiled, it was like we both knew what is going on in our head and after that I replied...but she haven't yet replied to msg..I don't think she will.What do i do? I really love her...she makes me crazy..if I don't get to talk with her i just can spend rest of the day normally. now onwards i wont be around her daily. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (27 January 2013):
You need to leave this girl alone, she is not yours to own or control and you have no right to make her feel guilty about talking to another man.
She is allowed to date other people because she does not belong to you.
You sound like you are completely obsessed by this girl to the point of stalking.
The way you are behaving towards this gurl will scare her, make her uncomfortable and paranoid.
I'm suprised she hasn't put in a complaint against you.
She might just be responding to be nice not because she was you to continue stalking the poor girl.
Just leave her be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsurprise!! A new thing happened.
I've been trying to show her how much I love her by talking to her daily and recently I proposed her as I wrote in the main question.
After around a month..I used to talk as normal..
She has her group of 5 friends.One of the guy from the group was trying to make her his girlfriend.He used to always around her.She was very close to him but She knew i feel bad about whenever i see her with him..She never talks to me herself It's always me...but he is her one of those 6 friends so she is very friendly with him...
That days she saw I felt it bad.Then ok I just left the classroom.Then I two three days later again same happened that guy was talking to her..but she knew I'm watching..after that I didn't text or came to college for a week.I was upset.Before disappearing from college one day I came college without anyone's notice.whole day I stayed at a room from no one can see me but I was able to see her.
And I saw she was looking at the library stairs where I sit.she was looking at my place 3 times from different positions.She understood I got angry on her and didn't come to college.
And now I saw she is done the same thing to that guy.She is avoiding him.He used to try to be with her alwasys.But now she avoids him and stays with her female friend.
I'm sure that she is avoiding him and she is confused...
now Understand it's nothing like that she is not accepting him..atleast at this stage.
So now I'm going back to college.
Todays after results...I text her at night "Congrats.." she replied with "thnks.."....
but didn't ask me about my results...why??
I'm damn confused what's going on??
Like she understands when I feel bad and then do good..
If she has turned that guy down because i was feeling bad about it.
but she doesn't show her feelings to me..
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (9 January 2013):
You dont tell her anything, I would leave her be. She has turned you down for a date and she has distanced herself a bit. It sounds like she is trying to let you down gently or simply isn't in that place at the moment. Either way shouldn't "convince" someone to date you, they will date you if they want to. Give the girl her space and keep your options open. If she changes her mind then she knows where you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBefore proposing i asked her out but she said no.later she told me the real reason that she had some problems she was facing and her exams werent good.she is a scholar girl.she is very good in studies...now its a new semester...today i talked with her ,just normal things like nothing had happened.then she was few distance away from me.i was just looking at her then she was also looking at me....then later she came near where i was sitting but didnt talk with me instead she was talking with some other guy.she does look at me i've seen her like that.She knew why i was there.i was there just to see her and talk to her.She shows nothing all cool....but she does look at me when she is ideally standing...Btw thanks for the answersI can only see her on two days per week...i know she likes me but i think she confused....i want to convince her....what do i tell her now...
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (6 January 2013):
I have been in this situation before but I was on the other side of it. A friend of mine one day told me he had loved me for years and he would marry me and that he has always felt that way.I knew he liked me but from that moment it suddenly made it very awkward between us because I no longer knew how to behave around him. If he had simply asked me out on a date just the two of us a probably would have said yes just to see what happened or developed between us but to be bombarded with all of those feelings and emotions felt like a lot of pressure.I would say give the girl her space and then start to build the friendship again, stop trying to get a longing glance or a meaningful chat anymore and just be friends if you can. the one day maybe ask her on a date, simply to the cinema or bowling and just see what develops.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did not ask her to marry me. I told her to become my best friend with whom I can share things. I told her how much I love her.
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A
female
reader, PurpleWings  +, writes (6 January 2013):
Before asking someone to marry you, it is probably best to be steady girlfriend and boyfriend first. You may have scared her off a bit by being so forward to ask for marriage if you just have been talking and seeing one another for 9 months. Maybe ask her if she would like to be your serious girlfriend first, and if that works out, after while, try asking again. If she does still says it is not good for her or you still, then maybe it is not meant to be. Good luck!
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