A
female
age
41-50,
*lou oog
writes:Hi everybody well I need some of your opinion. Well I was engage for 16yrs, and he never ask me 2 marry him. I am the one who always asked him 'when are we going 2 get married' and his answer always is 'someday'. Well we had some problems like 7 months ago so I broke the engagement. It started 2yr ago when his friend moved in by us. They where like a couple doing everything 2gether and he isn't married or haven'd got a girl friend. What I mean by doing everything 2gether is going 2 town never ask me if I want 2 go with. Taking a sunday drive he don't ask if I wanna come with. And he would verbally abuse me in front of his friends like there is nothing wrong with it. He would call me all sorts of names and he doesn't care if this guy hears or any one else in that matter. I just could't take it anymore I was tired stressed out and feel like a nobody. I repeatedly ask him please don't talk 2 me like I am a maid or a whorebut he didn't care about my feelings. We started drifting apart from each other there wasen't that flame anymore he will never tell me you look pretty instead he would say "and where are you going". But here comes the big problem when I broke my engagement I was still staying with him I met this wonderful man. He is kind sweet saying all that wonderful words a woman wants 2 hear, and we fell in love. I told my ex I want 2 move out becouse our relasionship doesn't go now where. So I stay in a flat with my kids my ex is so controlling over me and a jealous type of person. I told him I want 3 months 2 sort out my life and I want 2 see if he can change. But in this 1 1/2 months he is worse than ever. Now that I have feelings for this other guy my ex said if it is what you want then he will marry me. so I told him I don't want 2 marry you now why after all these years and I would feel like I pused you into marry me. That is not what you want. He said if he see me with ather man he will kill me. I don't know if I love my ex or is it just that security that I always had with him. If I don't see my ex then I feel like a difrent person but as soon as I see him then all that old feelings came back again I realy love this other guy. Please just give me some advice what I should do I am so confused.
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fell in love, jealous, moved in, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): I know it must have been very painful for you to break off with your ex after so many years together, but I think you did a really smart thing on ending things with him.Why would he want to marry you now after all those years when he had the chance and didn't act on it? Because he knows he's losing you. The odds are he's desperate and probably really doesn't mean it. Its very scary that he says if he sees you with another man he will kill you. Stay away from him dear. He sounds a little unbalanced. Try and forget the past and focus on the future with someone who treats you well. I would let your ex be just that..your ex. Please take care.
A
female
reader, babomi  +, writes (17 October 2008):
 leave your ex behindit has been years he has not treated you well, and you ve stayed, so he must find his way with words to convince you, but don t believe him again, it has been 16 years, he won t change now he s just promising marriage and threats to have you back in his poweryou did good by leaving him, keep on see this other man and be happy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): I strongly feel if a man doesnt want to comit to marriage, he is not ready. I mean 16years!! He wants the best of both worlds. I think go with what you gut tells u, that never failed me. That little voice inside never fails. You need to think of yourself first now, you did the first step, be strong. Take that 2months break- give yourself that distance to Find Yourself again and then take ir from there. Good Luck
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