A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After my high school graduation I and my whole family left Philippines and migrated here in Canada.I left my boyfriend and planned to get over him. I never dreamed ending up w/ him.He's a total jerk.He was not studying nor working. He smokes, drinks a lot and a playboy. Couple of times he hurts me too.He's from a poor family yet he's so lazy. He don't strive enough for life.He was good for nothing.I was young then and ambitious. Already in Canada not knowing I was pregnant. After few months w/o menstruation I was worried .I know I was pregnant. I don't want to have a baby yet but I don't knowwhat to do. I don't know anybody yet!I keep it up for myself.BIG mistake!I couldn't't keep it forever. It was my 7 months pregnancy when my family knew about it. They got very mad and my dad called immediately my boyfriend and asked him to accept his responsibilities with our baby. I didn't want him to know about it but I was so confused and didn't have the courage to talk.I don't have a close relationship w/ my parents. I have a big fear w/ my dad and I grew up w/o my Mom so opening up w/ them was so hard.So my dreams was already shattered. I was bound to take care of my son and to work hard.I was 17 and a working Mom. I didn't enjoy that much my life but there's nothing I can do about it.I really work hard and I thought I need help cause it's really tough and I'm alone.I don't have any friends I was so unhappy. I decided to marry my boyfriend and maybe I will be happy.I was convinced it will set me free from my family too.Another BIG mistake!I got back to Philippines to marry him but I returned here in Canada after we got married.Our son is 5 yrs old now and we are 3 yrs married but still we are not together. Never live as husband and wife!I began to have friends and somehow enjoy my lifehere.Then I fell in love with someone. He's exactly opposite of my boyfriend.I know it's wrong but I never felt happy like this before.I'm not sure yet if this is the right One but I'm sure I want to be free from my family and with my husband!Tell me People what should I do!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 You are an adult now (22) and have found your way. You have met someone you like and likes you back. I suggest writing to your husband and letting him know the marriage is over. You don't say how many times your husband has actually been in contact with your son, certainly doesn't sound like much of a marriage to me and the sooner this marriage is dissolved by divorce the better.
YOU have to make the decision. Your mom and dad can advise you but at the end of the day you have to do what you feel is right and there's nothing either of your parents can do about it.
You deserve someone who will love you (and your son) the way you should be loved. We all make mistakes, just learn from them and be sure to use contraception in the future to prevent anything like this happening again.
I wish you all the very best.
Eve
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): i know i would normally not suggest divorce, but i would never want to see anyone live an unhappy life, yours or your sons, so i would divorce. not right away though, wait a couple of months and see if the man you met is really " The One".
If you two are happy together, your son will also be happier. It sounds like you really dont have much to lose but a discontented and deprived life.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (30 January 2007):
 its not a case of us telling what to do.. were merely suggesting things we would do in the situation or giving u help on the problem..if it were me i wouldnt put up with anything life is to short to live it unhappy..and by the sounds of it youre very unhappy.. it seems you been thinking awhile about wanting to leave youre parents and husband behind..if you want to be free be free no one can tell you what to do youre a free person...just take good care of youre son and do what you think is best for his and youre future.. thats my opinion hope it helps xxx A
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