A
female
age
41-50,
*dpangel
writes:hi. im married for almost 7 years and have a kid with my husband. Lately this year i fall in love to guy who is married too. We both know we are married but we fall in love..yes i felt he loved me. For the first time we spend the night together we had no sex...for some time that we are together we had once but at first i really dont like it to happen i was forced? but i dont regret im just worried?..im afraid?...whatever. Then it happen again still i really fought my feelings that it should not happen again. But i loved him already, i gave in..I felt guilty to my husband... me and my husband had a cool sex marriage . i think its because of work. You really dont believe but we had no sex for 4 months. But i know that he has no other woman...its kinda weird..I dont what i am doing now.. think im really lost.But i now love the other man...and now that man seems dont want to ruin my marriage life cause im really now attached to him i felt he tries to push me out in him... i dont get the reason why we have to stop it but he says he love me still, why will i have to suffer where in fact im happy being with him. On the other side i still love my husband... im lost really really lost about this feeling im going trough. please help...is this the price i pay off for getting some other guy in my marriage life?... or what does it mean. help me.
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 You feel lost? His pushing you away so the marriages aren't interfered with, that's expected. He's deceiving his wife and you're deceiving your husband, what makes you so much different that he wouldn't burst your bubble too.
Your guilt can be worked through. But first you need to fill your husband in on what you've been up too. He has the right to know, and decide for himself if your malicious behavior is worth working it out or not.
You said your first time was by force. Around here, we call that RAPE. So you had an affair with a rapist, fell in love with a rapist, the rapist decides to leave you to stay with his wife, do you see a slight pattern here. Looks like he got exactly what he wanted.
Here's what it looks like. You got played and played and played, then when he notices your feelings have changed, which increases the possibility of getting caught, he breaks it off. He has a wife, He's not looking for additional problems.
Why you did to your husband is completely violating the bond of marriage. Think of marriage as a contract. You said I do, he said I do, you go playing with someone else, you breached your contract. Now you have to be an adult, tell him what happened, and let him decided "keep her or not keep her."
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