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I love my girlfriend but am lusting after her mom

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2019) 10 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2019)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I love my girlfriend but I can't stop lusting after her Mum. Is there something wrong with me?

We've been together for 2 years and are both 24. Her Mum is 41. I don't know what it is but over the past few months or so I've started finding her Mum really REALLY attractive. I had a sexual dream about her soon after it began and ever since then I can hardly stop thinking about her.

At face value most people would think she's an average, 40-something woman but to me she's absolutely gorgeous and sexy. It's got to the point now where every time I see her she brightens up my day and I find her more attractive than my girlfriend. I'm ashamed to admit it but my infatuation got so strong the other day that I fantasized about her.

Surely this can't be normal can it? It's been 4 months and the feelings are only getting stronger. What do I do?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2019):

She's hot, don't beat yourself up. But unless she comes on to you keep it to yourself. I been there. Maybe this will make you feel better, maybe it won't. I actually made out with an old girlfriend's mom. We just mutually locked lips in a coat room at a wedding hall. And did it sober couple times more. We'd talk on the phone privately too. Don't over-analyze -- I didn't.

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A male reader, stanliwise Nigeria +, writes (9 November 2019):

stanliwise agony auntIt's time to break the girlfriend and boyfriend relationship and set out on a new path.

You fantasies may not be welcomed by the mother and the daughter. so just pack and leave the family alone.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2019):

You are getting a bashing here but it is normal to get crushes, you are in a young age range so met your girlfriend very young.

You love your girlfriend and maybe you need to look at she is her daughter so you look at her mum really with what your girlfriend will become.

I'm not going to bash you, my daughter is 20 and I'm 45 and today walking down the high street with her men were looking my way, even though my daughter is my mini me and in my eyes far more beautiful and with youth on her side. Older women can be attractive, but you need to reign it in, see it for what it is, a crush on a woman who takes care of herself AND who your girlfriend will become. Her mum wont entertain you, I'm pretty sure of that, figure out if your relationship has run its course or if you just need a chat check and need to see how you feel for what it is...

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWhat do you do? You sit down and work out whether you have any sort of future with your girlfriend. If you are only using her to get to her mother, you need to end the relationship, kindly but totally.

It is possible you are turning into one of those young men who like older women. Or it is just this particular woman who fascinates you. Whichever way, it is not fair to keep your girlfriend as a "plan B". She deserves better.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (9 November 2019):

Dionee' agony auntYou relationship is basically over. Nobody appreciates being tolerated so don't feel as though simply tolerating your gf makes you a good guy. Setting her free would be preferable so that she can find someone that truly loves, appreciates and is attracted to her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2019):

If her mum is any kind of decent human being she would never go for it. Break up with this girl. Say nothing. Move on. Get your mild fantasy elsewhere and don't ruin this girls life with your fantasy

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (8 November 2019):

Fatherly Advice agony auntThe math is interesting on this one.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2019):

The only fair thong to do is break up wob your gf. But never tell her the real reason why - it could affect their relationship forever. Just tell her your passion faded in your relatiobshil.

I dont think you should be involved with this family feeling what you do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2019):

The only thing wrong with you is that you have no self-control; and you aren't really committed to your girlfriend. You're BSing her!

You have to exercise impulse-control when you've committed yourself to somebody. If she was lusting after your hotter brother or dad; you'd kick her to the curb so fast her head would be spinning. Your male-ego would write her off as a slut; and nothing she could say or do would change that.

Porn has introduced young men to yet another fetish. The MILF fantasy! Objectifying older married-women, and lusting like dogs in heat with their tongues hanging-out. The only thing wrong with you, as you put it, is you have a girlfriend and your eyes are on her mother. Oh, come-on!!!

If you can't behave, breakup with your girlfriend; and stop wasting her precious time! Use your head with the brain in it, and let junior calm down! This is all a bunch of porn-induced nonsense! If she has a hot mom, stuff happens! You don't maintain ownership over your girlfriend until you find something, or someone else; to entertain your sexual-fantasies, or to distract your attention away from her. That frat-boy nonsense like you can't help yourself is a bunch of BS as well! You suppress your feelings, or you hit the road!

You're totally disrespectful in every way!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2019):

What do you do?

Get a grip.

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