A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been with my boyfriend about a year and a half. There is something that bothers me but I am getting used to it. He has a hairy back and he doesn't like it but I do. And because he is a bit over weight he never takes is shirt off during sex. He mentioned to me one time he asks his ex to shave his back and she made a disgusting face. I think he was hurt by it. He always says after he loses weight he will take his shirt off but I mean he actually gained weight when we were together. I don't know if I really like hairy guys or I just like him, also I would love him to not shave his chest but he does. How do I bring it up or make him change his mind to take his shirt off?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies:)
Really appreciated!
A
female
reader, harleygirl2010  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Hi there. In this situation the only thing that i can think of to do is ease into the conversation. Some how start talking about it. then tell him you love it and it doesn't bother you like it might have his exes. My current fiance has two scars on his stomach. When we fist started dating he would never take his undershirt off around me and i finally got him to tell me why he didn't. He told me about the scars and why he didn't like to show them. Finally i got him comfortable enough with the idea that i liked them and he started to take his shirt off and i got to see them. He felt uncomfortable with them. Just talk to him about it and get him to become more comfortable with the fact that you like him the way he is and that you want him to keep certain aspects the same. I hope this helps you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): It is normal to be attracted to your lover even if that's not the norm or the perfect image. When I first met my boyfriend he shaved is chest too but I would always rub that part of his body and tell him how sexy it was especially when your having sex- it's the best time to compliment someone and rub areas you wouldn't normally rub. It won't be easy but you will have to make him comfortable with the situation. Compliment him even if it's a lie and eventually when you feel he will be more comfortable take charge and remove the shirt yourself depending on how aggressive you are in bed. Hope this helps and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): It is normal to be attracted to your lover even if that's not the norm or the perfect image. When I first met my boyfriend he shaved is chest too but I would always rub that part of his body and tell him how sexy it was especially when your having sex- it's the best time to compliment someone and rub areas you wouldn't normally rub. It won't be easy but you will have to make him comfortable with the situation. Compliment him even if it's a lie and eventually when you feel he will be more comfortable take charge and remove the shirt yourself depending on how aggressive you are in bed. Hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, heartbreaker1  +, writes (10 January 2011):
helloo dear, you're boyfriends problem is a common problem between the guys that are over weight or too hairy but to have his shirt on while having sex is a little bit too much i think, most couples are usually comfortable with eachother atleast sexually becaue it is a very important aspect in the relationship.
Now my advice to you to actually work on making him abit more comfortable with you by convincing him that you actually do like the way he looks and you have to make him believe that his physical appearance really turns you on, you can do that by just talking to him sbout it when he's in a good mood one day and make it very clear to him how you feel about his body and how much it turns you on, or you can do it slowly by talking dirty to him in bed and mentioning words like my hairy beast, my big monster, or my big daddy and maybe rip his shirt off just before you get an orgasm and make lots of noise that would work on me if i had that problem ;).
or you can try things like jumping in the shower with him and make him give it to you under the shower or if he's not as wild then just try whispering it to him in a very sexual way from time to time, this may turn him on and make him ask you for it him self.
you said you probably dont like hairy guys you just like it on him and if you said that to him then he may not believe you or it would be hard for him to believe you because he probably thinks that you're only saying this cuz you don't wanna hurt his feelings, so in this case we might have to play a lil game to convince him otherwise, even though you may not like hairy guys, you can go and buy afew porn videos that has guys that look your man physically and dont tell him about just let him find out on his own that you have these videos, once he finds them and watches them he's gonna figure out on his own that this is what you're into and this is what you like ;).
and if you want the fast way, just one time one shot when you guys right in the middle of sex and going at it like crazy just tell him to stop get up and make it very honest and straight, i can not do this i wanna be able to feel you're body and skin against mine i dont wanna have a shirt between us all the time and tell him you have 5 seconds to take youre shirt off before you leave the room and if he doesnt do it then just leave. and wait for him to come talk to you and make him feel guilty for not satisfying you...i hope my advice works for you good luck
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (10 January 2011):
The confidence is all on him; only he can choose to get over it. But there are little things you can do to boost his self esteem. The next time you're having sex and he keeps his shirt on simply tell him you'd like it better without the shirt. If he thinks that you're attracted to his body, I'll bet he'll be happier to show more, at least with time.
If he talks badly of himself, replace it with a small compliment (not too much, you don't want to spoon feed him attention) Show that you really enjoy him physically and that you really like him the way he is and he'll eventually get some confidence back. He still has to decide to get it on his own though, but be supportive of him and he'll come around.
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