A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi guys. I'm a 16 year old gay male and I'm been going through a tough time in my life since the last 3 years. There are a lot of things in my life that are bringing me down. One of the things that ways a lot on me is the fact that I'm lonely. I'm just tired of being a lone, dealing with my crappy life on my own. I don't have good friends and I don't have a bf. I've never been kissed, I'm a virgin and I've never been in a relationship. I really want one. I want that perfect guy that will be there for me, that will understand me that will take me as I am, with all my faults/insecurities and imperfections. I want him to be my best friend, my lover my bf. I want to share our lives together. I to feel loved, I want affection, don't we all? Why am I an exception? I'm not even all that interested in sexJust his presence, his touch will satisfy me. I want to be held, held on tight so I know I'm actually wanted for once. I just want to feel important to someone, and have at least one person in my life. I just don't know how to handle my sadness, and depression anymore. Sometimes I'm close to having a breakdown. Please advise aunts..I need you.
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female
reader, auntieloulou  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 I'm exactly the same sort of person, I try and stay strong for people, am there as a shoulder to cry on and appear confident and outgoing when really I'm not confident, I worry about little things all the time and I constantly want to change things in my life. But I think everyone is like that. Its easier to disect and help out with other peoples problems then actually deal with our own. I always worried about relationships, I didnt have my first kiss until 16. but it DOES NOT MATTER. seriously, in years to come you will think why did i ever worry? everything comes naturally, let it happen. i always worried about ending up alone and no-one liking me, now im in a very happy relationship and am truly happy in life. i wish i would never have wasted the time worrying about it. any of us could die any day now, but you honestly need to be happy in yourself and happy with just you, that makes you attractive to others and will untimately make you a good partner in a relationship. i really hope you can see my points and make time for you, lifes hard but you got to be grateful for it and work hard to look after number one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys for your advise. And to give you both some feedback:
I'm the type of person that gives great advice, but I never take my own. The same things I'm telling other people, I never use it myself when I know it's right. I don't know why that is. On the outside, to other people, it may seem like I'm a confident person with high self esteem. Which is partially true, because I have respect for myself and don't let people get me down. But most of the time it's just a charade, a mask. I'm really crumbling inside. And yes, I know I'm 16 and there's no rush. But one of my fears is that I'll be forever alone, and never find love and happiness. I can die any day now, you never know where your life may go. Auntieloulou you're right, I've been going through depression for the past 3 years and how crappy things are...so (WelschUncleDave) pretty much little everyday things make me happy. I try to never set my standards and expectations too high. Because It never works out the way I picture it.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (10 January 2011):
Sounds like you have low self esteem and confidence.
We would all like the perfect partner but they are incredibly difficult to find.
You may have had some downs in your life, but remember you are only 16, what's the rush?
At your age, it really is no big deal that you haven't kissed a guy, had sex or been in a relationship, no matter what you think.
As for yourself, you've got to believe and back yourself and you can pull yourself through any troubled times.
So many people allow themselves to sink because it's the easy way, but you only grow stronger by battling adversity.
You are the most important person in your life because you control what happens.
Aside from the boyfriend/sex issue, what would make you happy?
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A
female
reader, auntieloulou +, writes (10 January 2011):
poor you! you sound like you could be suffering from depression and i think you need to see someone about it. you need to see your doctor and explain how you feel.
seems to me you also need someone to talk to, a friend. dating websites and social inter action sites are a good start. some of them are free so have a look around the internet and get meeting people! there will be loads of guys your age in your situation, you need to show that your available and looking for company. dont rush into things, you need to find yourself and feel at one with yourself before you can embark on a relationship. the best relationship you will have in life is with yourself, so make sure you put effort into making you feel good before you can take on someone else. remember relationships are hard work, you need to be in a good place before getting into one. get online, meet people and work on your confidence, the rest will come naturally. your still young, you dont know whats around the corner.
good luck
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