A
female
age
30-35,
*ARLEE..*
writes:i recently feel pregnant with my long term boyfriend. i really love him but my mum made me have a termination.When i was in the hospital they both came with me and all they did was argue my mum wants him to never contact me again but i love him what will i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (20 March 2007):
 This must have been horrible for you and I must say they should have been more supportive. They were the people you needed the most and they sounded like they made the whole situation a lot worse. But you got through it and, at your age, it probably was the right decision.
Your mum was obviously only trying to look out for your best interests, both with the termination and your boyfriend. She wants you to be happy and not go down the wrong path which she sees your boyfriend as taking you down.
You need to think long and hard about why your mother feels this way about your boyfriend. She doesn't want to hurt you, she wants to protect you, what has given her reasons to hate him this much?
Family are always going to be there for you whereas men will come and go. Choose wisely here, as you don't want to lose the special relationship with your mother. I think they both need to know how silly this is, especially when you were going through something so hard. Talk to them both.
Good luck
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (20 March 2007):
 Honey,
I'm sorry that you are hurting, it is a very hard thing to go through. Your Mom is not trying to make your life more difficult, she is trying to help you become a responible young woman. If you "FELL" pregnant, it happened because you and your boyfriend did not take any responsibility for contraception before you decided to sleep together. Saying I "Fell" pregnant always makes it sound like someone else's responsibily, like it was "Magic" or it just "Happened". When you are responsible and sleep with someone, you know that there is always a chance that you might become pregnant. So you wait until you are old enough to have children, you only sleep with someone who you would consider raising children with and you are earning enough money to support and raise children. It is difficult putting your body through a termination. Your Mom is mad at your boyfriend because he is ALSO resposible for the pregnancy and did not use any contraception. She is angry at him because you are the one who needed to go though with the termination, No mother wants to see her daughter go through that. But No mother wants to see her daughter try to raise a child before she is capable of all of the responsibilties. Your Mom is the best judge of how grown-up you are, Shandy Pop is right, you will thank her when you are older. This has been very hard on your Mom and she did this out of love for you, for her child. She wants what's best for you, to finish your childhood and become a responsible young woman. Don't let her down. Please listen to her. And if you need to see your boyfriend, wait until your Mom says it's Okay. And DON'T sleep with him again until you understand birth control! Terminations are unpleasant, unnecessary and hard on your body and spirit. Take care of yourself and be good to your Mum, she really loves you. XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007): How old are you? Your mum would of had your interests at heart when she did this. How would you cope with a baby at your age? How old is your bf? Where would you live? What kind of a start would it really be for the baby? Are you old enough mentally to bring up a child. I feel for anyone who has had an abortion and a miscarriage but i also see it from your mum's point of view. She sees her lovely little girl, bringing a new life into the world when she is only a baby herself. She would want the best for you, seeing the world, living your life and having fun doing all the things that teenagers do. NOT being stuck in the house with a child, maybe bringing it up without the father (I'm not saying that he would run off, but some do).Tied down with a child, not a pretty picture, sorry, but i think she made the right decision, and you will in the future. You are so young and you think you love him forever, this would be great if it happened to us all in reality, some are lucky, not all.
Sorry to be on your mum's side. How and why do i feel this way? How can i be sure about my views?
Well, it happened to me when i was your age and my mum frog marched me to the doctors, then off to the hospital to get rid of it. I protested strongly and boy am i glad that my mum was so strong and forceful now. I would never of been able to look after a child at that age. I skipped out of the hospital, so glad that the nightmare had been taken away from me. I'm sorry if this upsets some anti-abortionist but not everyone is the same.
Please don't hate your mum - I'm certain that you will love her in the future for her actions.
If you are under age and your mum doesn't want you to see him, then abide by it until you are old enough to make up your own mind.
If he loves you he will wait, and the wait will be worth while.
Take care and you can contact me if you want.
xx
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