A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so here's my problem...would like everyone to keep an open mind.I'm a 17 year old gay guy...comfortable with my sexuality and all that. So about a year ago i started seeing an older guy. I've always known i liked older guys (hey, it's just the way i am..can't help it) and i'm comfortable with it (and my friends know about it too...they're pretty cool about it!). So this guy, he's 36...although he looks a lot younger (lucky git...hehe)...my brother thought he was 27 (although he didn't know who he was...told him it was a friends work partner fixing my computer). In june i asked him out and he said yes...so we've been going out for about 6 months now and i'm totally in love with the guy. Am round his place every weekend, sure he annoys me sometimes, i annoy him too...but i can't get enough of the guy.so here's the problem: My family!They're constantly bugging me to meet him, i've met his family, his friends and his work mates. He's met my friends and everyone gets along. But the thing is that i'm worried about my family. I'm not sure how they will react. My mum thought my last boyfriend (23 years old) was too old for me...and her actions were a huge factor in our breakup...no she didn't call the police or anything serious like that...but she meddled, and i've always resented her for that. I don;t actually care what my family think anymore, i went past that point shortly after i came out (and even then, i'm still not sure if they're ok with it). Sure they can be nice, but the bad things they've done stick out like knives. So if i don't care about what my family thinks, what's the problem you say? The problem is that i live with my family...and if they don't aggree with my choice of boyfriends they will make my life hell. For one i'll feel horrible...i have this tendency to feel guilty when i shouldn't. Another problem is that my mum has the strange way of creeping under my skin and making me do what she wants (aren't mothers good at that?). So i don;t want her wrecking this for me!So in short, i love the guy, he's a lot older than me but i'm fine with that. I'm worried the effect my family will have on my life and my relationship if they were to find out about it. Oh yeah, they know OF him...they think he's 23...hehe...a little bit off.So i want your advice people of the internet! Type away!Thanks for Reading
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male
reader, lboy +, writes (28 December 2007):
 dear reader,i really dont see much of a problem here i know what your on about though i have a bit of a fetish for olger men hehe, but fi your family want to meet him then just let them know that you lovfe him and if they do anything to get in the way of this relationship like they did the last one that you will resent them for the rest of your life ( parents hate that) keep up the lie that he is 23 until you are 18 then let them know his real age because by then they can't say anything about it cos you'll be of legal age ( yeh im good lol im sayin the same with my bf lol) anyway just do that and let them meet him not for too long and not for too short a perioud maybe if he's taking you out somewher then maybe briong him round and while your gettin ready leave him downstairs with your family so he can get to know them and visa versa just do that kinda thing like 30 minutes at a time then maybe bring him over more often then bring him over for longer and then maybe when the time is right get him to stay over and things like that over time your parents will grow to like him. this is what i do with my bf's and trust me it works like a charm because they aren't learning everything about him all at once so they will want to see more of him so that they can learn more and get to know him better, anyway thats all the advice i can think of so good luck, and write back and let us know how it goes ok.good lucklboyxxx
A
male
reader, aim  +, writes (27 December 2007):
 Hmmm. First of all, you have to try to confront your parents and tell them that they shouldnt judge this cute guy of yours with just his age but with how and what he does. Yes, just like Ms. Anonymous have said, since you're still young and still lives under your parents' roof, you still somehow abide to their rules and with what they want (sucks right? yeah, me too..tch! i hate them for that). And you have to tell them that you are disheartened to know that they're not allowing you to date someone older. And they should just accept and udnerstand your situation and in fact they should support you and not stop you.SO, you have to kind of come with an agreement with you parents or something like that...and i bet they're gonna tell you to date someone your own age.. haha. Noooo, you have to tell them you really like this guy and you're serious if you will have a relationship with him. I hope you the best. Keep us posted ok? awrighty!P.S.Can i steal your guy? He seems hot. Haha! I like older guys too, you know. ü
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): I would suggest talking to your parents before you introduce them to your boyfriend. I would try to open thier minds as much as you could before you put your boyfriend in that position. Prove to them that you are serious about this relationship before you put them through the stress. And don't put your boyfriend through the stress.
I love my boyfriend and he is 16 years older than me. I am 28 and have not introduced him to my parents yet. They both have issues with him even though they have never met him. So, I decieded that they don't have to meet him. I love him, he's a great guy, and it is MY relationship, not thiers. After a while they will hopefully come around.
At some point you have to realize it is your life and you are the one living it. You are still underage so your parents still have a lot of influence on your choices, but stay strong and it will all work out.
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