A
female
 ,
*Angeliquex
writes:Hey, I'm upset and confused.I have been with a boy from college for the good part of two months so far, and I care for him so much. We've not known each other long, probably a few months at the most, and we started off friends. He made it so obvious he wanted more and it was totally mutual, so we made it official in early November. We texted each other every night for hours, and were literally inseperable in college, and I like to think I've been consistent in how I've behaved with him [the affection, giving him space when need be, etc] Just over this past week he doesn't seem to text me, or if I do, he scarcely replies. It's christmas today, and I wanted to wish him a merry christmas as you do. My friends who have boyfriends are all, "Has he contacted you? Mine texted me at midnight *gush*" But mine hasn't. I texted him saying I'll call him at 6ish, and I know he got the text, so I called him and he didn't answer. He has minutes and texts for free so he could return the calls if he wanted to.It's making me really angry as he's obviously doing the hot/cold thing on me. I sent him a card with a special love note in there from me, but I didn't get one back. It really hurts, because I've suffered commitment issues in r'ships in the past, and this is the first boy who I feel I could be with for a long time. I really do care for him like you would not believe, so the more he seems to ignore me, the more I fight for attention [texting more, etc] to no avail.It's WAY too early in the relationship for this drama!!We haven't slept together yet, but I was thinking to sometime between now and the new year..I WOULD hold out, but I feel as if I'm unnecessarily punishing myself.I couldn't bring myself to do the hot/cold thing on him as I'll worry that my innattentiveness would drive him away. I'm so confused what to do.He's not one for communicating his feelings, and our conversations tend to be quite one-way. I don't mind that, but it does make it harder for us to communicate.PLEASE reply, x
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female
reader, xAngeliquex +, writes (30 December 2007):
xAngeliquex is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks ry :-) Yeah, I'm quite shocked no one else was willing to help me when I'm willing to help them..it is quite unkind. But atleast you're giving enough =]. Anyway, well I haven't spoken to him in person yet because he lives quite far, but I have arranged to meet him this Thursday so hopefully I can ask him then. Thing is, when I'm around him he makes me feel so special, it just makes me forget how I feel when I'm not with him (ignored, etc)
Well I happen to know he'd lost an immediate family member a few years back, and obviously it being Christmas now and everything, it could be that he's..thinking about him even moreso than usual.. Idk.
But thanks for your help, I will take your advice and it sounds pretty promising so hopefully it will all work out because I really don't want to lose him. x
A
male
reader, dc.ryan +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Hello,
I'm surprised no one has replied to you yet, how unkind (I've been scoping this one out waiting for someone to sneak in before me - but here we go!)
Anyway, enough of me waffling - I understand your worry, I think anyone would be concerned if they felt they was being ignored - it does look like you've made many attempts to contact him, and even gone to special lengths (such as the special note) which is cute, and its not fair he hasn't given any signs of affection for it.
Instead of attempting to talk to him over the phone, text or Internet it might be worth confronting him while you are physically with him - express your feelings (not via shouting though!), you need to communicate with your partner and explain how upset you've felt recently because you feel he is slipping away from you (and you feel ignored etc).
Although please take into consideration it could be other things affecting his responsiveness to you - such as family or health issues and hasn't been in the mood to talk about it, so has retreated to trying not to express him self to you (some people just don't enjoy expressing their feelings for one or another).
I know you've already said he finds it hard voicing his feelings, but its important you tell him he needs to communicate with you - as its important part of a relationship.
You just need to sit down, in person and have a good chat - it sounds hard, but you'll surprised how quickly things open up once you get chatting - you express your problems, and he'll express his - allowing you to come to a conclusion on repairing what ever that is bothering him.
Let me know if you need any further advice, for now - I just hope you've resolved it in the past 3 days.
Ryan
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