A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 22 years old. My boyfriend and I have been together for a nearly 2 years. We'll call him 'Steve'. I do love him, and I enjoy being with him.My problem is that lately I've been feeling like I want to experience other relationships. Steve was my first boyfriend, so I've never really experienced anything else out there. I know this sounds horrible, but I'm not a bad person. While I do have these thoughts, I would never act on them while we're still in a relationship. I'm wanting to know if anyone reading this has gone through the same thing, and what they did? What can I do to zest up my relationship with Steve? We used to have so much fun together, but since the 'honeymoon period' has ended I find my mind getting bored and straying. So do I stay and wonder who else I could have met, Or leave and experience other guys even though he's done nothing wrong?Thank you all,'Stacey'
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female
reader, Cdh89  +, writes (13 June 2012):
An Idea that you might want to try is just spending more time around boys, not in a romantic way just at work or school spend time with your girlfriends who have friends for boy and become their friend even spend time with your boyfriend and his friends (win win because he will love you for it) I know this sounds not satisfactory but it really does help, if you just feel you spend all your time with Steve making some friends who are guys will help that, also to help your curiosity in other realationships (I totally know what you mean I went threw the exact same thing) your friends who are boys may also how girlfriends and you can see them with their gf Also maybe even talk to him about her when he needs to vent this way you can see the good the bad and the ugly in all boys and their relationships, this will better help you compare yours with Steve and will help you make a better dessicion on your relationship. Without acctually having to go out and test the waters.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): Because I'm human, and we all question our decisions now and again.-Stacey
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): if you say u love your boyfriend, i see no reason why you want to have a relationship outside.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): Hello, Stacey here!
Thanks everyone. I think all of you have given me true, useable & constructive advice (accept for one person :S) And it makes me happy to know I'm not the only person that's been there. I am going to stick to it and work this out (wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to, right? :)
I realised last night that the one thing thats dissapeared in the last few months is our sex life (5 months ago we were having some problems, all of which are resolved now - but after everything was resolved it was like we just 'forgot' to start having sex again. (*I know he didn't actually 'forget' and there there may be underlying reasons - it's just a figure of speech).
And to be honest upon thinking about it for a while, it really is the only thing that's been missing. This realisation was a big 'A-Ha!' moment - I was so confused because I had this amazing guy, yet I still wasn't as happy as I used to be. Its seems so obvious now that the reason why it felt like something was missing, was because something WAS missing! And it was something I remember really enjoying with him, so much.
I'm going to ask him if he's willing to be more sexually adventurous (which I'm sure he'll just HATE! :P (joking). I'll ask him to fulfill a few fantasies, and of course I'll do the same in return for him, (I know this is a 2 way street)....I think that will help us get back on that horse.
Thank you all for your help, I really do appreciate you taking to the time give me your opinions on this subject, and it has really helped :)
Sincerley,
Stacey.
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A
female
reader, klo17  +, writes (3 March 2010):
i would stay and try to make it work but if it doesnt i would just leave
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A
female
reader, Weramazing  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 Hi
I think that most people our age who have only been in one relationship feel like this. Is your boyfriend kind, caring, faithful and loving? If yes then please do NOT act on these feelings. It is so hard to find a person that ticks all of those boxes and anyone who has a partner like that is lucky to have them.
Maybe you should start doing more fun things together like going on holidays and taking up other things you both enjoy. Maybe even discussing what you want in the future can even be a good thing such moving in together or getting engaged or even saving towards these things can give you something to look forward to.
if you spend alot of time together maybe spend more time apart aswell seeing friends as well so you get to enjoy your own lives aswell that way you appreciate eachother more.
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A
male
reader, mr toyboy  +, writes (3 March 2010):
You probably doing this out of curiosity and boredom, but i must assure you that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
So if you very sure you wana leave him, speak to him about your concerns and what you want, dont do anything behind his back.
But what i must also let you know is that he might not be waiting for you to come back, so when you realized hes what you actually wants, he might have moved on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): Your bored of him and the relationship admit it? You want something more and you didn't find it in him. When you do end things with him don't be so harsh or rude. Next time you do want to get serious again make sure that it is what you want so you don't go out there and hurt someone else it's not fair ya kno. Maybe you aren't in love you just developed alot of feelings for him but not enough. If you do plan or want to be with other guys end the relationship you have now it wouldn't be fair to him if you cheated. Kay well that's that. Goodluck on your desicion wish you the best!
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (3 March 2010):
 Well, there are three choices as I see it.
1-Put all the energy you have into working on your relationship with Steve, and finds ways to Making Monogamy Work. For example, I am the author of a program entitled The Rules for the First 10 Times you have Sex with a New Lover and it has ideas that you can use when the spice of your relationship is over.
2-Restructure your monogamous relationship with Steve into a polyamourous one that makes it open for you both to date other people. This does not necessarily mean a sex free-for-all. As a couple you will have to both come together to set boundaries for what you both can and can not do. This might mean anything from visiting a swingers club to just watching, but not participating up to anything involving full romantic and sexual relationships with other people. I also authored a program on Alternative Relationship Choices to help people go from Monogamy to Non-Monogamous relationships. I also have free interviews on my website with people who live these lifestyles (swinger, open relationships, BDSMs, etc..) that you can listen to for free at http://www.franktalks.com/radio
3.Break up with him completely. But you better be sure. What scares me for you is that you might be letting your curiosity ruin what could potentially be an emotionally healthy relationship. My strongest suggestion is for you both to find ways to work your curiosities into your relationship so that it does not cost you the very relationship you have, if it is a good one.
Lastly, and I do not say this in any "mean" way, but maybe the issue is about growing up. You seem to have expectations that your relationship is "suppose" to be fireworks all the time, and it will not be. That is not reality. Part of maturity is to keep expectations realistic, otherwise you will end up being miserable with things that are actually good, and could start a trend of using relationships as escapism because you never learned to appreciate what you have.
Good Luck
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 You talk to Steve that you feel that you are too young to be in a relationship and wants to go out into the world to enjoy what the world has to offer. Let him loose and set him free .
You can then do whatever you like. If fate decides that you are destined for each other later on , then so be it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 March 2010):
There is one question that you need to ask yourself honestly. Yes, you love Steve, yes, you love being with him. But the question is this. And be honest with yourself about it. Is this man Steve the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? If so, then go back to him, tell him that you're worried the relationship is losing its spark and tell him you want to have more fun at it. But if this man is not the one you want to be with, to marry, to have kids with, then let him go now and find your Mr Right. Be honest about your thoughts with yourself.
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