A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a six moneth relationship with my boyfriend and we are very happy, loving and caring and affectionate towards each other, we get on so well and I've never been happier.the only problem is he occasionally smokes weed...its far from all the time, just sometimes when at his mates house or when we are out, very rarely though. and he has done it for years (before i met him)so although its now starting to get to me, i feel i have no right to say anything to him because alot of people do it much more often and hes done it alot longer than hes known me.When I first met him it didn't bother me (I just wanted to get to know him and obviously didn't care about him enough to worry about him) but now, i love him so much and hate drugs, it upsets me that he does it and i dont want to see anything bad happen to him.What should I do, yes talk to him about it, but I feel out of order... help?
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male
reader, introspectre +, writes (16 October 2009):
I am a boyfriend who smokes weed, I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years, and known her for 4, we were really close friends.
anyway our relationship hasn't been affected negativley by me smoking weed, I Don't act particularly differently when I'm stoned, maybe a bit more relaxed and lucid, more talkative. We've only ever a argued a little, we tend to talk about things and work them out rather than get angry about them. I earn more than enough money for other things and I'm sensible with how much money I spend on It. I'm going to college doing a a music practice and production diploma, she's doing an art diploma at college next year and she's excellent. We've both had a lot of trouble with our familys and a ruff time growing up, We've supported each other through alot of bad things and we're an incredibly happy couple. I like to smoke weed, and If I'm honest, careful, It's not causing any problems with money, if doesn't make me an asshole, then my girlfriend sees no problem with me smoking it.
The link with schizophrenia is not a valid fact. http://www.drugpolicy.org/marijuana/factsmyths/
and any burning plant material has carcinogens in it, so that could cause cancer. I'd advise your boyfriend to buy a vaporizer, they heat up the weed so that the thc and other cannabinoids crystals get released into a water vapour type gas without burning the plant material so also without any carcinogens, http://www.cannabisheaven.co.uk/vaporizers/how-vaporizes-work.html
Thc and other cannbinoids may help fight off cancer http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/04/17/health/webmd/main2696726.shtml
I'd really like to hear your opnions on cannabis after you've read the links aswell.
Tell your boyfriend to educate himself if he's taking anything, if you really understand it you can make an informed decision based on facts. and educate yourself on it too.
hope this helps
A
male
reader, ibanez  +, writes (26 January 2009):
Being an ex-weed smoker myself and also once finding myself in a very similar situation, I would have to agree with Emilysanswers except for the bit about talking about the risks of cancer and schizophrenia, I know I knew what risks I was taking and to be reminded of them wouldn't of convinced me to stop; infact it could have the opposite effect (the same way a teenager would do something his parents told him not to do) especially since he doesnt smoke much anyway. Instead tell him you dont like drugs, use the "I'm not kissing you after you've been smoking approach" (but dont push it too hard) and provide some positive reinforcement if he 'behaves'. Don't push him to hard though, otherwise he might end up resenting that you're denying him some 'harmless' fun!
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A
female
reader, Benny 1494 +, writes (26 January 2009):
 I know exactly how you feel i have a very very close friend who used to smoke weed on a daily basis, before i met him i was VERY anti drugs but then his habit started to affect him and i mentioned to him that i didnt like the fact that he smoked so much and he cut down and only now has it on occasion.
If this guy was willing to do this for me then i'm pretty sure that if you mentioned that you didnt like your boyfriends smoking then i'm sure he'll stop, just be honest with him and tell him how you feel as long as you just tell him exactly how you feel he should understand.....
hope i helped,
feel free to message me x
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A
female
reader, carriebaby +, writes (26 January 2009):
 i can relate with you in this situation but im with my boyfriend for 5 years and he has finally kicked his smoking weed in oct! I am so anti drugs also and know the effects blow can have on your mind. Like you , my boyfriend was smoking it before i met him and at the start i ignored it becuase i didnt want to come across as a bitch. But after a long time i started to mention that i didnt like him smoking it and he knew it. I also went on to say if we ever had kids he couldnt smoke around them and he did agree.
Have a talk to him, im sure he will be flattered that you care so much but dont TELL him to stop. Just ask him now and again why is it you smoke it and would you ever consider giving it up etc. I dont think he will mind so much as long as you are saying it in a nice manner rather than a nasty one.
Let me no how u get on !!
x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 January 2009):
I think you have to talk to him about it. Yes it is maybe not your place to DEMAND he stops but you are fully entitled to tell him that you don't like drugs.
Ask him if he would ever consider giving it up.
He has to give it up of his own free will, and because he wants to so talk to him about the risks of cancer and schizophrenia.
I had the same feeling about smoking when I first met my husband. I told him I didn't like it and that it was his choice but I wasn't going to kiss him if he had smoked.
Giving him a good incentive to not do it is much better than telling him you'll just be angry if he does it.
If he comes home and tells you that everyone got stoned but he didn't then do something to blow his mind (make him a lovely sandwich and let him play xbox all night, it doesn't have to be the obvious thing) and make it well worth it in his mind.
Good Luck!! xx
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