A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heyy aunt's and uncles.I feel so bad, and i havent even done anything. I need major advice.Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. Im only 16, and hes 17, but where in the same year in school, as ill be 17 in july! He arranged a suprise Birthday for me too spain, but i found out when he took my passport. Ive seriously never felt this way about anyone before, I feel like i would do anything to make sure he wasnt hurt or upset and i would protect him from anyone. He used to be on my mind all day and night untill now.Because of exams and stuff we havent been able to see each other, and on friday i met a new boy, through my friends. I noticed how good looking he was, but i didnt feel anything for him but now weve been texting everyday and getting to no each other and i no its wrong to text another boy like this when i have my boyfriend, and i instantly feel guilty, and end up sending my boyfriend a really lovely dovey text but its almost as if i cant stop myself! This boy no's i have a boyfriend, and so we dont speak about anything rude, hes told me he thinks im really good looking and stuff but its just basically a friendship at the momeent. With our texting weve been up since around 1-2 in the morning just talking. I now cant get this boy off my mind, I keep imagining what it would be like in a relationship with him, and im going to a party and my boyfriend isnt going. I no i wouldnt cheat on my boyfriend at all,but i really want this boy too come and im finding that the first time since i got with my boyfriend i feel excited about something, and i have butterflys in my stomach and im barely eating anything.Because ive not been seeing my boyfriend and with my friends alot i feel as if im single again, and ive had the most fun this week, more than ive had in the last year! Ive also made some great new friends which are boys, through my other new friends but my boyfriend is saying im not allowed to see them again, and its actually made me quite upset.What is wrong with me? Im telling myself i dont want this too happen and almost trying to make my self think about my boyfriend but i cant, and when i think about the other boy i get really happy. Please help. xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): I don't think you should dump your boyfriend for this other guy.
Maybe, just maybe, you're getting excited at the thought of being with this other boy because it's something new, and you haven't felt this way with your boyfriend for a while, because you've gotten into a routine and/or haven't seen him much lately?
Perhaps your relationship just needs revitalizing. Could this holiday will be it? Or maybe you just need to spend a little more time together again.
I do agree with you though, he is being controlling when he says you can't see your guy friends. You need to make it clear that he can't tell you who you can see or not, he has to accept that and trust you more.
If this is the only problem in your relationship, aside from this other guy, then you could make it work more before giving up, providing your boyfriend can try to stop being controlling.
If you want to be with your boyfriend, then you should cut back on the texting with this other boy and set yourself some boundaries. You don't want to give him a real reason for him not to trust you, do you?
If you no longer want to be with your boyfriend, and you're absolutely certain that your feelings for this other guy won't pass, then you should finish things before the holiday.
I've told you what I think, but really it's up to you. Good luck with the decision.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (12 June 2009):
 Boonridge- they have been going out for a while so there must be some trust there and he took her passport as the holiday was a suprise! He may have wanted to keep it with his in preparation for the holiday to make sure that she wouldn't have trouble finding it! Duh!
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (12 June 2009):
 hun he can't tell you who you can and cannot hang out with whether or not they are guys or girls
it's your life and your choice, i think maybe you should end the relationship with your boyfriend you clearly are happier when talking and texting with this other boy.
Boonridge is right he seems like he wants control over you.
he's telling you you're "not allowed" to see these people why?
it's not school being told what to do...
i think you should just end the relationship now before things get a bit out of hand.
you and this guy really like eachother so make a a go of it.
your current boyfriend can't control you like this and tell you when and whom you can see as friends.
your choice your life not his!
do what's best for you hun.
do what you feel is going to make you more happy.
best of luck x x x x x
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (12 June 2009):
 Two thing bother me about this-
:he took your passport? i would not be happy if someone took my passport. you can check that its in date and valid without taking it away from a person (if he was planning to give it to you at the airport without telling you of the holiday beforehand its not so romantic). this suggests he craves control (maybe he feels he is losing you).
:"Ive also made some great new friends which are boys, through my other new friends but my boyfriend is saying im not allowed to see them again, and its actually made me quite upset". no-one should be telling you who you can spend time with (maybe your parents will but we all expect them to guide us). this is again another controlling behaviour which may stem from fearing that he will lose you but in the end does not make you want to stay.
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