A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 17 and have been with my boyfriend (let's say Ashley) for over two years, and until recently I was very happy about it. We have seen each other 6 days a week since we got together, and on the seventh we spend hours on the phone. I realise how excessive that is but if I go a day without contacting him, I feel empty.Anyway, a new guy has just joined our school (let's call him Sam) and we've become a three, going most places together. But I've started to like Sam more and more and Ashley less and less. Being around Sam makes me realise how much I long for the excitement of a new relationship again and it scares me that Ashley and I have seriously talked about marriage and children!I am aware that at 17 I have my whole life ahead of me and should not be planning out my future like this. But inside I know I couldn't be without Ashley, and yet I'm constantly fantasizing about Sam. I just wish I could have a month with someone new (preferably Sam!), have the excitement and then go back to Ashley afterwards, although that is of course totally unreasonable.I am so confused... I know that if I stay with Ashley I'll end up cheating on him at some point, but if I throw an otherwise wonderful relationship away for the sake of a bit of excitement then I'll be left with nothing in the end.What on earth should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Your right! You dont want to have something perfect and settle for less. There is an attraction between you and Sam but its not an attraction that will last a lifetime. We can be attracted to almost anyone in the world but we only give our hearts to ONE person and in your case it seems like Ashley. Seems to me that your fantasizing about Sam because maybe your a little bored wit the same routine with your current partner. We tend to fantasize about things we normally couldnt do. We create our own little world where everything is possible. What you and Ashley need is a little more adventurous time together. Pick a day where the both of you can do something you both always wanted to do but have never came across it. Put some excitment into your relationship. Try new things. And before you even know it, the fantasies you have about Sam will start to fade away. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): That's what I wanted to hear :)
Thank you for replying, you've reassured me. Knowing that someone else is/has been in the same situation helps a lot on its own, so knowing that you made the right decision by staying with your boyfriend is great.
Thank you!!
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A
female
reader, -Colour-Me-Sober- +, writes (5 December 2007):
 I had the same problem as you.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months now and this other guy was also in the picture. I can't bear thinking about what would happen if I carried out my descision of leaving my boyfriend for the other guy. But I'm glad that I didn't.
If you really love 'Ashley' then trust me, stay with him. You'll regret it if you leave him and things get messed up in the other relationship. Of course it's your descision but in the long run it's best to stay with your boyfriend.
And as for the fantasizing, I sometimes fantasize about other guys, it's only natural, we all do it sometimes. It's just carrying out those fantasies that will get you in trouble.
Good Luck =]
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