A
male
age
30-35,
*ence
writes:Hi, I'm having a problem. I'm 18 years old. Me and my family traveled away to see my cousins that i haven't seen in a long time, My best cousin just got married with a girl.I was really excited about it, and happy for them, but when i saw her i feel in love, but i knew there would never be anything with me and her, so i treated her like a friend.After 4 days i noticed that she been looking at me a lot, when the whole family sit together or when we eat or watch TV, so i got curious, one day i talked to her in private, and asked her why are you looking at me all the time, she started babbling after 30 minutes she say'd "OK! I love you what do you want me to do? It's been six years since i feel in love with you" I said how is that possible? She said remember when we met 6 years ago? iv been carrying this broken heart where ever I go. I couldn't believe it, she said please don't tell my husband, i told her don't worry because i love you too, she told me all about her problems and i told her about my problems, the problem was i couldn't spend time with her, it was too hard, If people started to ask why is this guy alone in this room with this girl?So i used to wait in the room for hours just for her to come in, then hug and kiss her, i swear i could hug that girl for hours, it feels so good when im with her, but above all that i know im doing wrong because its my cousin's wife. they don't love each other, he told me that, but shes pregnant so he cant leave her. he told me im trying to make something out of the marriage, and i love my cousin, I dont want to mess it up for him and if he knew what im doing he would probably kill me...to be honest, i really want to forget her, but im having a hard time, the day we went home, I acted like everything was cool, then when i was in the airplane i started to cry, i really miss her iv been listening to sad songs that reminds me of her, its been 3 months since the last time i saw her, i haven't heard her voice my heart is breaking apart, im about to die, anyway iv been fighting with this, im looking for a right girl, but i cant find the right one, and even if i find her, why would she want me??Anyway, now you know my story, its a lot more complicated than that, here comes my questionAs i said i miss her like hell, my family is going back to them in 2 months, It took me a lot of time to heal up my broken heart, is it worth it to travel back just to see her and have the greatest time of my life and when i come back i will probably die, or stay all alone here with my friends or someone else, and try to heal my broken heart, and look for a new way to forget her.Iv been looking for many ways to forget her, i cant find the right one.By the way, Sorry for my bad English, im only 18 years old and Swedish. Please reply to me, i'm only 18 and need help.
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male
reader, Vence +, writes (30 March 2011):
Vence is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIv been reading and thought of a solution.I need to forget all about her, but i cant run from my problems so i will meet her, and tell her that there is nothing between us so i know what she don't think about me anymore, so i can forget all about her.
A
male
reader, Dataluke  +, writes (30 March 2011):
 OK, we have two opposing views here so let me try and balance it out.You love each other, that much is obvious, but you need to consider the people involved.First, your cousin. He and her are married so really this is a no go situation. Your cousin would be more than heart broken if he found this out.Next, her. She just got married and is now telling you that she loves you? And has done for 6 years? If she loved you enough to cheat on her new husband then she should have tried to find you.Now we come to her baby. That baby needs love and attention which I'm sure you can provide, but can you provide the money to support it? And do you actually want a child? You may think so now cause it would be a package deal with her but very few men our age want children now.And lastly, you. Your 18 with an entire future ahead of you. Is it really wise to settle down with a wife that's not yours, a child that's not yours and with a cousin (and probably most of your family) that hates you?Think about it and let us know what you decide.All the best, Dataluke
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): Hi Swedish guy,What you're feeling is totally normal, and I don't blame you at all. You are in love with her, and vice versa. You guys obviously share that feeling. Your cousin doesn't love her, so I think the best route to take is to convince his wife to split with him.There's one big problem though: she's pregnant.If she splits up with him then she has no one to support her. You're 18, and I'm going to guess you don't earn enough to support a family, much less yourself. Not sure exactly how the social support system works in Sweden, but I hear it's very supportive, so she may be in luck.It looks like you're getting into a lot more than just being in love with this girl. With that said enjoy your feelings for her while you can. Go see her. Have a great time. Love her. Life's too God d*mn short to NOT be happy.Life is a risky business, but you'll never get anywhere if you don't take any risks.
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A
female
reader, Confused_123 +, writes (29 March 2011):
Okay, i think i get the idea of what you're saying here-You went to visit your cousin and fell in love with his wife and she loves you too and so you've kissed and hugged behind his back and she's pregnant with his baby. You feel bad about what you've done but love her? I'm afraid what you need to do is simple, not easy though.This woman is MARRIED to your COUSIN. I know it's awful when you love someone and can't be with the but what you're doing now is wrong.Don't go back and visit them and if you really have to then avoid this woman. How can you trust anything she says when she's lying to you husband in this way? You deserve to be in love with someone who loves you back and is AVAILABLE to love you back.So to sum up you should end this affair and steer clear of her. What you're doing is wrong, even if you do love her.
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