A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,My and my boyfriend have been togther for one year... And hes my life and i love him very much. But there has beeb such a big problem for a long time, he gets mad at almost everything i do, wearing the wrong cloths, even having lint on my shirt!!! He is quite often sweet to me but hes also mean... Sometimes he wants to be cuddly and stuff, but sometimes i feel like he hates that I'm around, I've always been a good girlfriend and ive never lied or cheated ONCE, but about a month ago, he left me, and during this time he kissed another girl, but then i forgave him and now we are together and have been for over a month. I love this boy, and i want to be with him, but how do i stop him from getting so mad at so much i do? Thank you! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (9 January 2012):
 Have you considered the thought that he might be bipolar or have a form of OCD? He may even have a form of psychosis. Might wanna get it checked out because this could lead to more issues in the future, like physical damage and we want you to be safe.
If talking to him doesn't work, seek professional help. This could be fixed with some medication or counseling.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 January 2012):
 he yells at you in front of others
he ignores you
he turns off his phone
he's kind to other women and not you?
and you want to be with him why?
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A
female
reader, tocansam +, writes (6 January 2012):
Well he just gets in these moods and its like he doesnt even want me around, hel yell and call me names, but hel be sweet as pie around other girls... Also he will offten ignor me :/ he will turn his phone off and not care one bit.
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A
female
reader, aliyahnangelo +, writes (6 January 2012):
 Just ask yourself this question...How long do u want to be on this emotional rollercoaster? if it bothers you now, it will keep bothering you, because this will not change, it will probably just get worse. It sounds like he's trying to come up with reasons to fight with you or get rid of you from time to time, but for what? What is he doing to where he will turn off his phone and ignore you because....u have lint on your shirt? Thats ridiculous. You don't deserve that. I hope you realize that sooner than later. Sorry I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but its the truth. you're young, don't waste ur time being unhappy with some guy that is going to be mean to you. Also men will only do what you will let them get away with.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 January 2012):
He sounds like my guy… there is not a lot you can do… here are your choices:
1. Keep your mouth shut and never speak unless spoken to and only give simple one word answers.
2. Have no opinions or ideas
3. Have him pick your clothes and inspect you before you move from the bedroom/dressing area
See the problem here?
The problem is that he is who he is and he’s not going to change…
So the ONLY thing you can do is decide to live a miserable life with a man who is mean to you and will not change or leave him. I speak from total experience here.
I’m not as young as you so I made a choice to stay but if I was you… RUN FOREST RUN!
If you stay with him you are just prolonging the inevitable and one day in a few years you will say ENOUGH…and you will live. I did it with my first husband….. he was also a nitpicky meany….
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 January 2012):
There's no way he'll change. All he wants is to control you. And how exactly does he show his anger towards you?
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (6 January 2012):
 You are not in love with him, you are in love with the illusion he has made himself out to be.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (6 January 2012):
 Doesn't exactly sound like Prince Charming, does he? If this behavior has been going on for a while, then the fact is, that it's unlikely to change.
I'll say this, though - at your age it's possible you think you're in love, but most of us, when we look back at how we felt, thought and acted when we were just out of our teens, realize what fools we were.
You should re-evaluate whether your relationship is really what you need at this point in your life.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 January 2012):
 Sorry he will not change, he is quite happy with who he is. He wants YOU to change, he wants YOU to be controlled.
Sound toxic and unhealthy.
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A
female
reader, tocansam +, writes (6 January 2012):
He is my life though. I would stay with him threw anything. I would doe for him... Hes my world. I cant leave.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): I dont want to say additude, but he gets in this mood with me and i feel like he doesnt even want to see my face anymore or he ignors me doesnt text shuts phone off ect.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 January 2012):
 When you say he gets mad, how does he show it?
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (6 January 2012):
 Tell him that he has to accept you for who and what you are, your likes/dislikes and everything. He has no reason to get mad at you for the things you mentioned and you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells while with him. Tell him he needs to stop misplacing his anger and that doing so will make you happy and strengthen the relationship. If he's not willing, then decide whether this is a habit you can tolerate or whether you should leave. If you decide to stay, then make sure this is something that won't lead to resentment later on.
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