A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:What do you think? did I do the right thing? am so upset:(?My ex boyfriend apparently was having a hard time after he dumped me. We went a month without contact then he got into contact, said he misses me. and asked to be friends.. Cos he doesn't want a relationship.After talking to him for a week I realised that am still in love with him and I can't be his friend cos I don't know how to. I love him so much, but he says he's moved and wants me to do the same.He's not well, he's having his wisdom teeth taken out in a few days. and today I told him I can't be friends cos I still love him and I need to move on cos we can't be friends.I feel so stupid for telling him I love him:(Did I do the right thing? I care about him so much..:(
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male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 I agree that you did the right thing. As difficult as it had to be, you are saving yourself a lot of pain. Unless the time comes that his feelings for you become the same (which you have no control over), you would be torturing yourself.
A
female
reader, Shamandalie  +, writes (24 May 2011):
You did the right thing. He moved on and wants you to move on which is great, but he must understand that you are not him and it will take you some more time to move on and be able to see him as a friend.
Also, the wisdom teeth removal is not a huge deal so don't let him make you feel guilty with that.
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A
female
reader, GypsyDreamxx +, writes (23 May 2011):
Yes you were right in telling him how you still felt. Sometimes when we have something, whether it be love or what not - feelings and emotions change, perhaps that's how he's felt?
Also, he said he dumped you because he's been having a "hard time" - what sort? Did he ever explain? If he doesn't want a relationship with you you need to accept it, otherwise it will just tare you up inside and you will be miserable. I would stay separated from him for a while until you can be sure about how you feel, and whilst separated - you should reflect on what he said - which is that he wants you to move on. Until you've come to terms with how he feels then you being friend's with him isn't a good idea. You will only hurt more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): Yeah you did. You were honest, you told him why and your reasons are very valid. You did the best thing possible in your situation.
It may hurt but you did the right thing for both of you. It would not have been possible nor good for you to remain friends while you feel this way. It would just be one long hard struggle.
You need to time to move on and then maybe some time in the future you can be friends but not until you have moved on.
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