A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've posted on here before and found the answers to be helpful, so I'm back. My boyfriend of about seven months and I are in love with each other despite our differences, which I don't mind since I actually like him as a person. He doesn't believe in or like monogamy because he feels like being faithful to someone you're dating. He hasn't cheated on me or anything, but he said when I move back home for summer break we could take a break from May to August if I want one since he's not in college and I'm the college student. Should I take a break with him or just end the relationship before I leave next month? He says breaks can make relationships stronger because if someone doesn't make you feel the way he feels the way he does about me, then it's proof that we're in a good place in the relationship. I know an open relationship or break would be beneficial for him since he has a past as a cheater and womanizer, but I don't like knowing that he'd be messing around with other women when I wouldn't do anything with guys because I love my boyfriend even though he expects me to mess around with other guys.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 April 2013):
 Look at: "...He says breaks can make relationships stronger...."
Of course he sez that!!!! AND, he's only 50% wrong! It WILL make your's and his relationship stronger - FOR HIM!!! After all, he will now continue to gets sex from you... AND he won't have to pay attention to the devestating effect "the break" will have ON YOU!!!
It's true that some couples live at - and succeed (maybe FLOURISH) - in an open relationship...... BUT, I believe the odds for that are long and NOT IN YOUR FAVOR....
Before you consent to this untraditional arrangement, think long and intensely about the "price" that you will pay in your soul for having agreed to it....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2013): If stepping out on a relationship is not something you would do or would want from your partner, then this is not the right guy for you. He already has a history and he is manipulating you to get what he wants. He has come up with this theory on how he can step out and have sex with other women and still have you to "come home to". What a crock of shit. What he wants its the comfort of a relationship, but the freedom without any consequences of hosing around if the moment comes up.Now, what he wants to do is not entirely wrong. He is telling you he does not believe in monogamy, but what he is *really* telling you is that he is not *ready* for it. And at his age and how he feels about it right now, he probably shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone. He has a lot of growing and maturing to do. And when that happens, it will all make a lot more sense to him. You on the other hand are mature enough and old enough to understand and want this. You both are simply in different places in your lives, no matter how well you get along and enjoy each other.Do not accept this idea of an open relationship "because you love him". If you require a man to be faithful and you want monogamy then respect yourself and be strong in what you want from a man, and do not except anything less. If he loves you and you are the one, he will respect this and will agree. If he doesn't, which appears to be the case, he is not the right man for you. As hard as that is to read. Maybe you will find your way to each other down the road when he is ready for the kind of committement you require from a man, and maybe not. I have a feeling this man is just a stepping stone to what is yet to come for you and who you are meant to meet down the road. Learn from this, enjoy the memories and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2013): "He says breaks can make relationships stronger because if someone doesn't make you feel the way he feels the way he does about me, then it's proof that we're in a good place in the relationship."
He's full of shit OP, how is taking a break so he can fuck other women going to make your relationship stronger? What of he meets a woman he prefers over you? Think that won't happen? Think again OP, he has months without you and only this other woman to keep him company.
OP taking a break means there is no relationship, you're *taking a break* from the relationship. There is no logic in what you're saying at all. Sounds like you're so wrapped up in this guy you're willing to let him fuck you over in anyway just so you don't lose him.
"I know an open relationship or break would be beneficial for him since he has a past as a cheater and womanizer."
Of course it would, but what about you? You're seriously okay imagining him lovingly sticking his penis in another woman? The idea that he may have the same woman for a few months, build a relationship with other women, or just lie in bed talking about all things he loves about this other woman? That's okay by you is it? That won't hurt no? But you're willing to let him hurt you just so you don't lose him? You don't mind seeing him add these women on Facebook, or seeing them thank him for wonderful evenings and dates on it? You don't mind all your friends knowing that you're really that much of a "loser" you're willing to wait around, celibate while the guy you love is out fucking other women? You don't mind your friends or his friend knowing you're that much of an idiot to fall for the "me fucking other women will make our relationship stronger" thing? Seriously OP? Read that again. "If you allow me to fuck other women it will make our relationship stronger" hahaha, I mean fucking hell OP, are you really that naive that you'll fall for that one?
OP a break means you lose him completely, along with your dignity and you just become a doormat he can drop any time he feels he needs a "break" and frankly OP people will just look at you and either laugh or feel sorry for you. I mean seriously, what would you do if a friend told you that she was allowing her guy to do this and for the reason you're thinking about it? haha wow.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 April 2013):
 Do you like monogamy? Do you want to be in an exclusive relationship?
He sounds like he's doing a great job selling an open relationship to you, he has rationalizations and explanations and I expect he could talk a dog off a meat truck.
I'd go ahead and break up with him now. He's obviously trying to keep you as a girlfriend (for on-tap sex) while keeping his options open if he can find other girls to hook up with.
This is probably the best he can do, as far as being close to someone. He's more interested in variety and his penis than building a lifelong committed relationship.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 April 2013):
 If he wants to take a break so he can f..k other women, he does not only have a past as a womanizer and a cheater, he has a present too.
I don't see what's in it for you. You would not try other guys anyway, because you don't want to. And your bf would be free to live his promiscuous lifestyle , with your blessing and approval.
The problem, is , though, that you would not exactly bless him and approve him, you'd feel angry , jealous and humiliated.
So, if he can't change his views on monogamy, I am afraid that you'll have to change your views on boyfriends, and choose another one who thinks you are special enough to ,that being faithful to you will feel normal and not such a crushing effort.
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