A
female
age
30-35,
*mandanash
writes:So my boyfriend and I have been together a year now. We're quite happy together. He has a very stressful job, and whenever he gets very stressed at work, I notice. He gets distant, and he's not able to keep in contact with me as much during the day, and he always has his mind elsewhere. When we're together, he doesn't ignore me and is affectionate and what not. When I ask if everything for him is going well, he always says that it is. Sex has become somewhat scarce as he's been having trouble in bed.As far as I can tell he's happy with the relationship.When I asked him how he felt about our 1 year coming up he said "I feel pretty goood :)"Am I reading into things too much by wondering what exactly he meant by that?He hasn't told me loves me, and we don't talk about long future plans. We've talked about things we want to do together in the summer, but nothing long term. He also doesn't often buy me anything, or even pay for dinner. We normally split everything. From an outside perspective, does my boyfriend seem into the relationship?
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female
reader, amandanash +, writes (17 April 2013):
amandanash is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, we don't live together.
We hang out a couple times a week, cook dinners together, go on dates here and there. I want to respect this personal space and not be clingy. I've had a clingy boyfriend, and I hated it.
I've tried to talking to him before about how sometimes I feel shut out when he gets stressed or things happen, and he's apologized for it. I even ask him last night if he's been very stressed at work. And he said he has been, very much, and that he's been internalizing a lot of it.
So what should I raise questions about to him?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (17 April 2013):
 Do you and he live at the same address?
If "yes," then Nora's reply is especially telling... as your "B/F" has a terrific arrangement... a "roommate" who DOES put out for him on those occasions when he so wishes... AND who keeps quiet and out-of-the-way at other times....
Do you really think that's what you want, "long term"...
P.S. From your submittal, it "sounds" like you're avoiding "long term" for the most-part...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (17 April 2013):
This is not a easy one to read and to make sure you would need to have an indept chat with him and ask him all those questions face to face.He comes across as taking everything for granted and is somewhat selfish that he does not buy you some little token or flowers now and then.However its important to talk to him about his stress and problem in bed would leave him very deflated.This is a situation that need to be talked about.Best Wishes Nora B.
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