A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we are so in love with each other.I know how he loves me so much and trying to make me happy as he could.He is a mature minded man although we are in same age.He is patience and low profile.He guide me how to be a good girl and I'm so grateful to have him in my life. My father likes his personality and says that he is a mature and reponsible man that are what a girl need. You know, kinds of men nowadays. My friends also support me with him. They say he really loves me so much. The problem is my mother doesn't really like him because of his job, not his personality.Oh yeah, btw he's from middle class family and their family run a bakery business. His shop is the biggest and well known shop in my city. Meanwhile, I'm from upper class family and that makes my mother to feel unhappy and sometimes underestimate him in front of me.She thinks that I can't get use with his life later because running a bakery shop is a difficult thing, it needs a lot of physics power.As I'm not kind of girl that have that strength. I've never told him about this and I feel so upset everytime my mother talks about him like that.However, he ever thinks about our future without I told him and he says he know I will not get use to his job and will not like it.He says he will find another complementary job and will try to do his best to make my life wonderful with him.He asks me to learn my piano lesson well and so I can become a piano teacher and I can take my time to what I like without helping his job.I'm so depressed that my mother keep make me upset by her words. I know she only wants the best for me. But honestly deep in my heart I know what she says are true. I don't really sure that I can help his business if someday I married to him. But I really want to try and make him happy too.Guys, I really need your suggestion. Help me.... Thanks before:)
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 Weell, your mother is right in the sense that you marry a man but not his job. Why do you feel you must help him run the bakery ? Does he demand / expect it ?... Then it's not right. You don't have to kill calves if you marry a butcher,or to go to Law School if you marry a lawyer !
Pursue your own career , the one you are destined to by your studies and personal talents- do your thing and let him do his. You'll be a piano teacher married to a baker, what's wrong with that ?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): Such issues can be addressed effectively if everybody involved knows where they stand. Your father approves of him because of his character. Your mother disapproves of him because of his occ upation. You love him but don't think you can support him in his business should you marry him in the future. Yes, as well intentioned as your parents are, it is YOU that will live your life. In the end woman, it is what you truly desire in your heart. Your parents can only advise you, not dictate your decisions. Your boyfriend, if he loves you, knows that making sacrifices for you is what will make you love him more & not what he asks you to do for him so that you can still be his girlfriend. Being in your situation is not easy but if you love the man & can see him as your loving husband, father of your children, building a home with him & have settled it in your heart, then settle it with your parents, especially with your mother. Show them that you are a matured woman who can make big decisions & be willing to live with the consequences. Find out what demands sacrifices on your part of the relationship & decide. Our love for someone is truly validated by what we are willing to give up for them. If you truly love him then anything is possible including making sacrifices.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): It sounds like your partner is lovely and that he is going to be successful in his business -maybe not as successful as your mother seems to want, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy together. Many young couples start off with very little and work hard to get the life they want. If you are not afraid of hard work, and you and your partner are going to be supportive of one another, then I'm sure things will work out for you! good luck!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 Who's going to live your life.... You or your Mother?Without disrespecting her, or dismissing her feelings, you have to get her the message that YOU are who loves this man and may well spend the rest of your life with him.... and THAT is YOUR decision, not her's.....Good luck....
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 It's his business, not yours. If you don't think you can help out with it then don't, he can hire help, and you can get your own independent job. This isn't the 1800 century you know where women marry men and their careers. You marry, and then get your own career, and let him deal with his.
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