A
female
age
36-40,
*loveribbons
writes:Hi, I'm hoping someone can give me some advice! I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and am sure that I love him. He has told me that he loves me and we are very happy together. It is definitely the healthiest relationship I've ever been in and my family and friends also comment on this. There's just one thing bothering me. Now my boyfriend is really kind, warm honest, loving and affectionate. He has great morals and he genuinely is just an all round good guy. The thing is though, before we got together he had a reputation for being a major flirt. Like very full of compliments for all girls, kissing their hands, faces, and necks when drunk etc etc. Everyone loves him because he is such a charmer! Since we got together however, he has completely stopped this behaviour, without me even mentioning anything to him. He says it's because he loves me and respects me. Now though, there are lots of girls suddenly telling me about what a flirt he used to be with them and they seem to enjoy telling me details. It's really upsetting me, much more than I thought it would. Does anyone have any advice on what I can do in this situation? Thank you so much.xxx
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female
reader, mylassie10  +, writes (22 March 2010):
 I'm going through the same thing! But I admire you because your strong and you let yourself develop a loving relationship with him. The stories I hear about my guy have gotten to me so badly, Ive been such a bitch and I always question him and we are constantly fighting because of me. But he hasnt let me go yet because he says he really likes me and never felt this way for someone before. So definately dont let others affect you. Its all about how he treats you. I believe if someone meets the right person, they will change their ways and your the one who changed him.
A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (22 March 2010):
It's his past and you cannot change it anymore than he can change who you were before you met him. What matters is the present. He wants to be with you! Forget everything else.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 March 2010):
 You cannot change the past. The past belongs to him. If you like him , the past should not matter to you .
We should not judge a person by his past. People make mistakes and do things without hindsight .
Just ignore those talks and live in the present. The past made him what he is today.
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A
female
reader, VictoriaK +, writes (22 March 2010):
 It seems to me that the girls who telling you about his flirtatious behavior are only trying to get a rise out of you. Perhaps they're jealous, or hurt because he flirted with them, but never got serious with them. If he truly cares for you, and has stopped his flirting ways, then don't let those girls upset you. It's all about you and him, nobody else.
Good Luck!
Victoria K
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A
female
reader, Entirely Unique  +, writes (22 March 2010):
 Theres nothing you can do, everyone has a past and we have to accept that, you have one just as much as he does, maybe not the same kind but its just something we have to deal with.
I don't see his past should be a problem, if he was continuing to be like this with other girls I would accept and understand you having a problem with it but as you said he's stopped all this since getting with you and without prompting too which is a good sign.
I would try to remember that fact and the fact that you can't control or take away what went on before you met/got together with him but be lucky that now you have he isn't that person any more and that is because of you and how he feels about you.
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