A
female
age
30-35,
*anox
writes:He's doing it again! He's saying I've broken his heart more than once... HOW??? I've been faithful throughout this relationship, while he was out doing God know's what from 6pm-1am! I love him dearly but sometimes it does my head in to HAVE TO TRY and make my own boy fall in love with me again. It hurts so much, but the thing is.. he doesn't know how many time he's hurt me, how many times he's broken my heart just a little bit more everytime he accuses me, when I do nothing wrong apart from spoil him, love him, cook for him, feed him, EVERYTHING!! But it never seems to be good enough for him anymore.I don't want it to end, but I get the feeling that he is in love with someone else.. I know he doesn't "love" me like he used to, I can tell when he looks at me. Am I in a relationship with myself? Or am I fighting for a love that has ended? Someone help me, I don't want an essay about boyfriends and that shit. Just someone tell me what I should do, advice, ANYTHING! -Much appreciated. xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Its difficult to understand what he means by saying you broke his heart? It is a wierd thing to say without believing it. It wants sorting out otherwise he`s acting and behaving over something that doesnt exist. I think that this is the root of his problem.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): If everything said is the full extent,then its only a matter of time before he ends it for you,so beat him to it. If you are missing out the real reasons behind his change,nothing people say is of any help. Love what is real doent just die. It will only die if it has been abused,and whatever your case is,I would say you and him sound like its ready to end.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 My advice is to stop trying to woo him and start acting distant and vanish yourself. Remove yourself from his life for the next week or two. Stop texting, calling, emailing, facebooking, whatevering. Do NOT make him dinner. Leave his clothing on the floor. No sex.
Dress yourself up in your hottest outfit and sexiest shoes and go out with the girls. Laugh, dance, enjoy yourself. Go spend the night at your girlfriend's house, instead of coming home. Turn your phone off that night. Ignore any accusations of misconduct.
You have to stop being his doormat and start taking care of yourself. From what you've written, he may already be out the door with another woman in his mind.
Him accusing you of crap generally is a way to divert attention from his own crap. And it's like to be what he's guilty of himself. A guilty mind knows no peace. He knows what he's capable of, so he assumes you would be as well.
Get yourself out of there. Act uninterested in whatever it is he's doing and become emotionally and physically unavailable yourself.
If this gets his attention, you may have a shot at salvaging the mess, but this would require him to participate in it as well. My bet is he won't, because then he would be what guys like him HATE to be, and that is ACCOUNTABLE.
So try the drastic personality change and see if you can get his attention. Personally, I think you are pouring your heart and soul into a relationship with a guy who simply is not worth it. But then, I've never been in an abusive relationship like that and I'm not ever going to be. I have a healthy self-regard. I would suggest you start looking at why you are with such a man.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Why is he saying you broke his heart? If you are missing out the history it is making it look like you are covering up facts.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (27 January 2011):
 You should leave. It's not working and all you're doing is getting walked all over. Do you really want to be this guy's slave? From what you've described, that seems like a pretty accurate description of what you are to him.
Send him packing, it will be one of the most empowering things you've ever done. If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn't treat you that way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): You dont want an essay? Are you sure its not because you have difficulty accepting a part you have played? It sounds like it. If you dont like facing the music,you may aswell just end it once and for all. Dont be surised if the next one has the same problems as this though.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): when a relationship is taking up your time and making you work this hard only one thing left walk away no real loving relationship is this hard
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): His behaviour shows he genuinly believes you cheated. If he is not letting you know where he is then there could be someone else,but if he was in love with her would have ended with you by now. There is obviously far more to give any answer to it,but if he has suddenly changed towards you and has no reason,it may be soon over anyway.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Why accuse you? If he has a reason then say it,if he hasnt then he will be projecting his own character back at you. If he`s in love with someone else would he not have ended it? Is he not telling you where he is between these hours? If so turn up where he says he is,if not then not answering a basic question and changing the subject answers you, Does he become aggressive or accuse you of anything when you ask him anything? Does he answer with a question or say you should trust him,but still no answer? If so you know what to do. Sometimes missing out half of the story is fine to get the feedback you want,but makes no sense in repairing the relationship. If there is nothing more than what you have wrote,he cant say anything to defend his behavior,it sounds like its more or less near its end. I dont understand how people say you have broke their heart if you havent? It doesnt add up? Men are too proud to admit that,let alone make it up.
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A
female
reader, feathery +, writes (27 January 2011):
This needs to be swift and to the point. Sit him down and tell him you want honest answers. If the answers aren't what you want to hear, then take a breath and ask your next question. Only when you have all the answers can you then decide what to do next.
Tell him no bullshitting, to get straight to the point, as it's hard to sit around and wait. If he won't give you straight answers, then he's clearly not into the relationship as you are. Do you want to sit around and feel like there is a massive dead weight on your chest? No? Then ask him straight.
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