A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am at a loss as of what to do. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for nearly 5 years, and some on and off time 2 years before that. Recently I have been looking at buying an engagement ring and proposing to her, but this process has forced me to reexamine our relationship. I have come up with one major (albeit childish) flaw, and it is in the bedroom.My girlfriend will not perform or even talk about blowjobs. There isn’t an issue regarding cleanliness or shaving, as I have brought those up, she just won’t talk about what’s bothering her. Odd how we could talk about anal, and both agree that it wasn't something that sounded appealing. Another problem is that she doesn’t seem to care if I cum. There has been more than one occasion where, if I don’t cum first, I will not be cumming unless I do it myself. We have talked about it and that it’s important to me, but nothing changes. To the point where she doesn’t even want to take 5- 10 minutes to help finish me off. This doesn't happen all the time, but it is frustrating since we don't have sex often (once every two weeks if I am lucky). Finally, aside from touching she doesn’t seem to want to do anything else with me but missionary sex. It takes a lot of effort to convince her to be on top of me and when that happens she seems to cum and be done.I feel like she is disinterested in sex as a whole, and I can’t help but think this is a reflection of me. However, she says that I make her feel good (no faked orgasms) and wants more (and said that she enjoys when I lick her). But with the little enthusiasm she has showed in making me feel good, I am starting to feel like I am raping her. I am out of ideas, I do not want to end the relationship but I can’t figure out how to open up the communication lines.This is my first relationship but not hers. I am worried that I am not seeing this as a sign that I need to move on. Thank you for reading.
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female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (28 January 2011):
 I am going to go with my initial reaction...she is selfish! She only wants to please herself and if it means having sex with you than she'll do it. Once every two weeks is horrible. I feel sorry for you, I really do. You should be getting it at least once a week and that is if you guys have different schedules or whatever to make it difficult to find time. Now to address some things individually....Blowjobs: Some women find it absolutely disgusting to put their mouth on a man's cock. Weird, I know, but some feel that way. If that's the case with her, you'll have to learn to live without. But, if you have to live without it, don't go down on her...unless you really want to of course. But don't please her that way if she's not even willing to give head for at least a little foreplay.To cum or not to cum: Again she is selfish. If she doesn't take the time to help you finish or at least let you finish, it is just rude. Sex is about both people, not just one.Positions: Again, selfish. Or maybe lazy. She wants to lie back and enjoy. If she gets off right away when she's on top and doesn't help you finish, again selfish. Ask her to do more of the things you want and if she says no ask her why not. If she won't open up and give any reasons why she's against it, you may have to forget about that ring and move on from this relationship. Unless of course you can live with this type of sex life for the rest of your life.Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): FYI the age range is incorrect, I am 20-30.
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