A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi i am new to this site and i need help. I have been with my partner for 5 years now and we have 2 children together, aged 3 and a half and 9 months. shortly after having my second child i found out that he was smoking heroin!! He said he hac only been doing it for about a year but i think it is really about 3. He has went through the detox at home about 4 or 5 times and hasnt managed to stay clean for more than 2 weeks. He has no job at the moment but he goes out every day, borrows money off my parents im sure he has stolen money from me. When he is at home he just lies on the couch and expects me to do everything. He has mood swings and flips out over the smallest little thing, and when id say " there is no need to shout" he would say that i make him do it !! All of this has really taken its toll on me. I recently went to the doctor because i was losing weight and was told that if i lost any more weight i would have to be hospitalised. I am also on antidepressants. The last time i caught him i kicked him out and he stayed with his sister and went through detox and it seemed like this was really it, he said he was going to do counselling and everything but i know hes back on it again.I really dont know what to do. I know i should get rid of him but i love him. The kids love him and i dont want to abandon him because im afraid he will get worse or start injecting. But i have myself and the kids to think about as well. I would really appreciate some advice. Thank You.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): The previous poster said to let him see the kids from time to time. I might add, supervised visits.
A
female
reader, s143k  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Well I agree with CaringGuy you have to think about your children first,I know its hard and that you love him but you have to leave him and let him see the kids from time to time
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 June 2010):
You have to put your children first. What happens if he brings something home and they get at it? What happens if he gets AIDS from needles and leave them lying around or something? What happens if he dies and they find him? No matter how much you love him, you must put your kids first. If you don't, at some point people will start to ask questions and you might end up with social services at your door. End it and lose just him, or don't end it and lose a lot more. Your kids may adore him now, but the will not adore him as they grow up and realize he is just a druggie. Leave him.
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