A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, Ive been with this guy for about a year now, on and off. I love him, very much. And he loves me. But, there are some problems.Hes extremely clingy and possessive towards me, I really dont like it. And, its like I cant go out with friends with him calling me or texting me every five minutes, to see if im with another guy. And he gets jealous, even when there is not reason to be.I love him, but i always end up breaking his heart. Ive broken up with him about 4 times since we first started dating. But, I always end up comeing back. Its like, I need him so bad when im not with him, but when Im with him, I feel trapped. But, hes says I act like a bitch to him all the time, and insult him. I have a very bad temper, but only with him. When i talk to him on the phone, I get so irritated about everything he says, or does. I dont know why. But with anyone else im fine. Its only to him do I act that way. I can see I do it, but I dont know why.I really did work on it. On my problems. But its like he expects me to fix myself, and he has nothing to fix. I love him alot though, and I cant stand it when Im not with him. Im always depressed, and cry all the time. He just doesnt see it, so he thinks I dont care. But i have hurt him so much, and everytime i get back with him it makes him even more clingy because hes scared him going to leave him again. I dont know what to do...
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 October 2009):
Ditto the other comments. Move on completely.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): end this relationship, and get over the pain. This is NOT a healthy relationship and you've said that he thinks you ahve to fix yourself, while he does notihing to change...You beleive that you are breaking his heart... yet you're the one suffering...BREAK UP and get some outside help to work though the pain, and DO NOT get back together with him. If you don't you're headed for years of serious issues - and this is never going to be a healthy loving relationship.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (4 October 2009):
 This honestly sounds like a toxic relationship. He's controlling and insecure, and you seem to be possibly a little codependent and afraid of being lonely. I don't know if there's a way to fix what you have because it sounds like a recipe for disaster. I think both of you - him moreso than you - need to talk to a therapist and work on your personal issues. He needs to manage his expectations and jealousy and stop putting it on you, and you need to learn how to respect and value yourself. You both have a long road ahead if you want this to work.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (4 October 2009):
You and this guy are not on the same page. Ask yourself what you would do if he was with another woman. In fact if I were him I would go date other women and then you would know better how you really felt about him. Now that aside the real problem here is you and him have different agenda for your individual lives. He has some insecurity issues but its possible he just doesn't feel like you are with him and only him. I would get to the real root of the problem and ask him what he would prefer you do. This is a tricky situation and some time apart might really be the only way to get to the bottom of the problem and possibly draw a conclusion
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