A
female
age
41-50,
*o-confused
writes:Hi,I need some help on how to get my boyfriend back. He is 24, very immature, but also the love of my life. He recently broke up with me because he was afraid to committ and said that he loved me although was no longer "in love" with me. He came to this conclusion within a few days of us returning for a holiday. He also thought that I was not "the one" for him. This has hurt me very deeply.He broke up with me on the phone and I feel that deep down he does deeply care for me and that there is hope of a reconciliation. How do I get him back? I love him so deeply and just can't seem to let go, although I have decided to give him space and not call him. Help.
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male
reader, Learner.uk  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 Hi, hope this helps you out...Just write to him and say: you agree with what he said and you understand (even if you dont)
1) It's hard but let him go!
2) DOnt phone text or drunk call.
3) keep away from him and go out with friends family etc both of you will be thinking all sorts, give him time to miss you and if your important he will come back.
4) you can still chat to other guy's remember your single, it does not mean you have to kiss or sleep with them!
5) Let your mind and heart heal feel positive about your self and image, be strong and be a adult about it (not saying your not! lol)
6) If you see him dont act desperate just smile say hi and get on with being you trust me he might not look it but he will be thinking.
7) If he calls or text's you to meet up dont reply straight away leave it a day, it's hard but do it as this shows your not desperate even if you are.
8) When or if you do reply dont sound excited or desperate just say you will let him know when you can meet and leave it again for a day even if you are free when he calls/text's just say your busy. Again showing your not desperate.
9) Make it a short meeting and let him do the talking make sure you have a straight head on and your thought's are gathered, Make sure you know what you want and how you feel!
10) Is he really worth it? Enjoy your self look after your self be positive and be happy in life you might not feel it now but thats because your thoughts are all over the place!
11) Even though I am a guy I have been their and been a idiot in the past, I hope this helps you out.
Take it easy and be happy there are loads of guy's out there to meet and this one may not be the one! Be positive have fun, relax and trust me that things do work out whether you get with him or someone else, I have been through it several times and I am still here alive feeling good and being positive in life!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Let him go and if he has a change of heart don't give him one second of your time.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 just because YOU love him does not mean HE loves YOU.
He's telling you what you NEED to hear even if you don't want to hear it. LISTEN to him... let him go. It hurts NOW but later on if you try to get him to stay with you it will hurt MORE....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): He has told you he loves you but is not in love with you. This is the 'kind' was of saying 'it's over'. You have not fully grasped it and are clinging on to hope. Yes, give him space and don't contact him. But the chances of him having a change of heart are slim. Even if he did, would you want to be with someone who had finished with you once already. Hanging on to the idea that, deep down, he doesn't know his own mind and must still love you will prevent you from grieving and moving on. Acceptence is important in helping you to start again.
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