A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hey ladies any advice will helpWell here it goes i've been with this girl for about 2 years on and off we r both 28 years old and have known each other since we were childern. For the last 2 years she has been treating me pretty badly we have had some good times of course but for most of the time she's pretty mean to me. wen it comes to doing things that she wants or needs to do she's all for it but when it comes to things i wanna do or things that normal gf and bf do she wants no part of it. I just don't understand anymore i try my heart out to make her happy i'm so good to her i treat her like a princess with little gifts, dinners, supprises what ever i can do to put a smile on her beautiful face. About 3 or 4 weeks ago she left me again this time on my Birthday. I know what everybodys going to say and that is forget about her but for some reason how awfull she is to me i can't seem to let her go. I'm so in love with her. I'm seeing someone else now and tried to be with other girls in the past but can't seem to let her go everytime i'm with my new girl i wish it was my ex. Why do i feel this way? i've done all i could to 4get her going as far as changing my phone # so she couldn't hurt me no more. What am i supposed to do any advice will help thank you
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 I want you to sit down and make a list of all the things your ex-girlfriend did to you that mean, unreasonable, selfish and cruel. You know, sort of a "101 Things I Hated About You" and be brutally honest with yourself. Then I want you to sit down and list out all the things you want to obtain from a loving relationship. Things like, honesty, trust, laughter, kindness, support, compromise, hobbies. And compare the two lists very carefully. That is your first step. The second step is to remove all remiders you have around your home; pictures, keepsakes, box them up and put them away. And the third thing is, every time you miss your "ex" I want you to pull out the list of horrible things she did to you, and replace those wistful thoughts, with REALITY. You have been seeing her through "rose-colored" glasses all this time. And last, but not least - spend time with someone else. Surround yourself with friends, companions, and people you enjoy. You may not fall in love with someone else for a very long time. It takes awhile to get over someone you were in love with but you have been in bondage for far too long. It's time to free yourself from your obsession with this woman and see her for the person she truly is -- not the person you wanted her to become, or the person you thought she might actually be someday. This is who she is and it's not nice. You deserve so much more!! Good luck.
A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 sweetie its hard i know to get over someone and even harder when its been a long term relationship. but how about taking a break from all the girls and give yourself time to process this it takes time. im seeing a guy but he isn't over his ex they went out 2-3yrs and its been 8months since the break up and he needs time so im giving him time. your not ready for another reltionship. and the reason why you can't let go is because you are always going over what if you done this or if you didn't do that. stop doing that and accept that its over and you deserve someone better, get rid of every thing th reminds you of her. go on holiday take a break and forget about her. its going to be hard to you can do it.
good luck xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): "Why do I feel this way?" - It's understandable it's hard to let go, because you say you've known each other since you were children, therefore she is in many of your memories! plus you have this sensibility in relationships.
You say she didn't appreciate you or do things in common when collaboration is vital in relationships! Fact is you've been with her for two years and she treated you badly for the "last two years," this speaks for itself. If you've already discussed about what each of you expects of a relation, yet she keeps disappointing you, at times, it's best to let go of the unchangeable, dear. I'd suggest you to concentrate on this other person you're seeing now; a way to forget somebody begins with intending to, you can start by replacing the thought "I love her" with "I must get over it." And search in another the kindness she didn't offer that brought you here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): Hi
I understand where you are coming from as i was in the sort of the same postion myself not that long ago. It will take time to get over her! Try being on your own for a while and take your time to think over things! You seem like a really nice person and you do not deserve to be treated that way! Someone who appreciate you will come along in time! She seems a really horrible person and does not deserve someone as kind as you and treats you the way you want to treated. I hope everything goes ok for you and works out!
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Dr. Nikki +, writes (19 July 2007):
 honey speak to her, sounds like a pretty bad relationship and selfishness on her behalf, but you cant go on like it. how about you get hold of her speak to each other and tell each other your differences i mean just because you have split up doesnt mean you have to stop being friends does it? especially after knowing each other since kids. you sound quite heartbroken tbh and i completely know how you feel. if talking doesnt work out (ive tried it many times before) but in a list put the problems you both have on seperate sheets of paper and then exchange and work from there. this might help. i wish you all the luck in the world and hope things work out for you. x
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