A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 17 my gf is 14 weve been together for 7 months and she wants me to take her virginity but im going off to school in august of 2008 for at least 2 years but our love is true. please help i love her so much but i dont want any regrets thanx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): Non-US -comment here:
No matter what the laws are, 3 years at your age is a huge difference. While at 17 you actually start being somewhat mature (which you proved by actually having doubts about sex at her age), at 14 people most definitely aren't - they are kids with lots of pressure from their friends who either claim to have "done it" or who obsess about it because it's "cool".
If you really, really love one another, being apart is not a problem. Underage sex really can be. Even in more liberal parts of Europe - so I can't even begin to fathom what the consequences would be in the US. Here, at least, abortion is not viewed as murder by most people.
So, I'd say wait until she's older, or if you really both want it, try this: Go to the school, keep in touch by phone/email/IM and on your first holiday (3-6 months from starting), come visit her and see if she is still keen on being with you in a long-distance relationship. If yes, go for it. If no, at least you didn't risk going to jail.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Becuase of the age issue, find out if it is even legal for the two of you to be together. The USA has some of the most strict laws about this sort of thing.
The second issue for me is that sometimes very young girls that have not found a certain level of maturity yet will get pregnant on purpose in order to keep a hold on a guy.
Do you trust her? Then set her free for the next two years. She if she will wait, and see if you don't find someone else in the meanwhile.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, Bjanelle73 +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Prison...I am glad that you brought that up...and I can't believe that I forgot to....
GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS...DO NOT DO IT....
Scenario#1: I have a friend that was dating a 14 yr old when he was 17 he got 45 years and prison and is on #9 now.
Scenario#2: My co-workers son was 18 dating a 15 year old he got 25 years in prison...Served 5 and is getting out December 29 of this year.
Now neither of these girls snitched on the boyfriends there parents did when they found out...and the first scenario the guy had been dating the girl for 2 years, but the mother got mad at him for something and called the authorities on him and it was a done deal...
I know the laws here in Texas are steep...hopefully they aren't as steep where you are...
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A
female
reader, KM  +, writes (24 November 2007):
you soulnd like such a cool guy. your girlfriend is very lucky to have you. however, i have a sneaking suspicion that your gf is trying to prove her love for you because she is afraid that you are going away. be sure to tell her that she doesnt have to prove anything, that you know already how much she loves you and how much you love her. if she still want to then, the decision lies with you and whatever you decide is right for both of you!
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A
female
reader, Bjanelle73 +, writes (23 November 2007):
You say now that it is true love, but it could possibly just be "Puppy Love" and that feels just like true love to young people. You should definetly tell her to wait and if she truly loves you she will not get mad at you and she will understand that you have her best interest at heart. I have a 17 year old daughter that lost her virginity @ 14 and luckily we have a very very good relationship to where she was able to come to me when she did it. She thought she was in love with this 14 year old boy, but neither of them knew anything about love. She now regrets that she lost her viriginity at such a young age. You have a big decision to make and hope you make the right one. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (23 November 2007):
 I think she's too young u should try to keep in touch and see what happens meanwhile u can meet a girl or maybe u will found a true and serious relationship moreover a 1st experience at 14 may not be as nice as u may imagine as it is hard even when ur older
be sensitive
good luck
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A
female
reader, Helhel  +, writes (23 November 2007):
 I think you are being really sweet to you gf,im sure most other guys wont be like this.
First let her know of whats happening in the future. If she is still ready after that go for it. I know most people will say that your gf is too young but if you both love each other that much then go ahead.
Just make sure she knows what could happen, even getting pregnant. Take the right precautions
hope this helps. Mail me if u need someone to talk to
XxX
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A
female
reader, aloha  +, writes (23 November 2007):
I think your girlfriend is REALLY young!
2 years is a long time, and people and situations change constantly.
If your feelings are truly LOVE, then waiting a couple of months and seeing how the distance relationship thing works out for you guys, then after that, you can start thinking of moving things forward. I'm sure you guys will still visit, she'll travel to see you, you'll be back home for holidays, so don't rush.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much i appreciate the positive feed back and i think part of her wants to do it to try and keep me with her do u think she would do that because its not that i dont want to ist just i dont want anything like pregnancy or prison and i love her way to much to even think of rushing her
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A
female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Woah there sweety! Your BOTH still children. Please dont go rushing into sex yet, best to wait till you are BOTH older.
Especially sice your going off to school. Imagine if you have an "accident" and this girl ends up pregnant!! BOTH your lives will be ruined. If you truely love her you wont go all the way with her yet.
Go off and do your schooling, you cn still keep in touch, thats what emails and phones and even pen and paper are for. Beside you will see her a fair amount during school holidays and such, its not like you wont see her at all for 2 years.
Please please dont make rash descisions about sex. Wait a few years, for both your sakes ok.
Even if she is wanting to make love to you, and you may well be almost of age, she certainly is not. If she truely loves you then she will be happy to wait for you. the first time should be special for both of you, and its wise for it to be leagal or you could end up in prison, never mind becoming a young father.
love her and respect her and keep in touch with her, but dont rush into sex with her.
HUgs, Issy xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): Well obviously most people are going to tell you to 'wait until she's sixteen...' but I myself lost my virginity at fourteen and have no regrets. She, however, may be different. Just make sure you talk to her properly, have a detailed conversation with her, to get to know her feelings about the matter. She might be enthusiastic, but she's likely to be very hormonal, being aged 14. After you've spoken to her, decide whether you think she's just a horny teen, or if she is genuinely devoted and passionate about the desire to lose her virginity. Tommy.
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