A
female
age
51-59,
*ipsuperwoman
writes:I'm in need of advice. I've been separated from my ex 3years now and I have a daughter by him. Now I am in a relationship with a man who can't understand why I let my daughters father see her when he gives me no money. He does not want me talking to him other than just about my daughter. My ex and I are semi friends he does not like that he I don't know what to do. I don't want to keep fighting over the same thing with him but I also can't keep my daughter from her father. What can I do??
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female
reader, lauzibiza  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 My partner is the exact same!! My ex partner doesnt pay any child support but always pays for clothes shoes ect and sees his son at least three times a week ...he will also take him for two weeks if i go on holiday..my son ADORES his dad ...My partner thinks my ex is a chav and that i shouldnt talk to him ..and i should arrange my son to see him without speaking to my ex..me and my ex are also friends..we get along fantastic better than we ever did together ...If i need to lend some money ill ask him and visa versa..If i ever need him to have my son hell have him wherever possible at the drop of a hat...Yes weve had a few arguements but who doesnt..I think every child has a right to see their father..i grew up without a dad and i am so happy my son will have one no matter what! Dont let your partner interfere its not up for debate . Money isnt everything ...id much rather my son see his dad than not see him and i get money from him!! Your partner and mine need to grow up ..they know what they have to deal with when they date a woman with a child from a previous relationship..!
A
female
reader, Vipsuperwoman +, writes (27 August 2009):
Vipsuperwoman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe gives limited support he has no real permant job. Child support is taken out of his check when he does make money. My bf just feels he has
no right since he does not support her like he should.
My bf does help me support her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 August 2009):
 I agree with both Quiet and Old Guy.
Whatever agreement you made with your ex about the child you two have together is between YOU & YOUR ex. None of your BF's business.
As far as being friends or friendly with an ex, well, I believe that it is wrong to tell a partner who they can talk to and whom they can't. Specially if they have never given reason for mistrust.
Your new guy might just be looking out for you ( as far as child support) but he does seems a tad insecure as far as the Ex.
PS. I'm curious, WHY isn't the ex helping you financially with your child?
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A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (27 August 2009):
I came from a broken home, and biological father that didnt financially support my mother. If he choses not to be a good enough father to provide any kind of support financially, what the hell kind of emotional support could he ever do?He doesnt care enough to find a way to support your daughter. Thats pathetic and sad. Your new guy has every right to be upset, he doesnt want your daughter to be in the presence of someone who really doesnt care. Frankly, yes legally he can see your daughter, but if you dont feel its conducive for her, dont force her. Think about whats best, is your ex worth it.. what kind of example is he setting for your daughter.-iydmps sorry if it comes out harsh, I opened an emotional floodgate I usually keep locked. Didnt mean to inflict my angst on your situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): I second everything that quiet-echo said. In addition, it is the father's legal right to see the child unless a judge says otherwise. Support payments are completely unrelated to visitation rights.
Your new guy sounds insecure. A flag, perhaps?
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