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age
30-35,
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writes: hey,this isnt exactly a direct question but i just feel like i need some opinions on my situation...i met a girl about a year ago, and we've been quite serious for a good 4 months, im however leaving the country in september and we both knew this from the beggining..she is very insecure about how much her parents know about her e.g they dont know she drinks and she's never really told them about boys she seen, and to this date her parents dont know i exist, she makes up lies to them when she goes out with me, we both love eachother and there is a huge feeling of intimacy when we are together..which is great, i just cant help feeling disrespected and basically quite small and insignificant when she's still lying about being with me ( sorry its long..theres more) she remains imminant that because im going away soon its not worth telling people, yet this dosent change the way i feel, this aspect and little things from arguments has made me feel alot of resent and perhaps hate at certain times towards her, the way she acts sometimes just makes me think im not valued, yet i appear proved wrong when she's alone with me and "madly in love", we disagree on alot of issues and although both phsycially active i find myself more unhappy than happy, when i think about leaving her im almost brought to tears because i know how much i care for her, its as if im a schizophrenic who one minute hates her and the next minute poisoned by love... im wondering if anybody else has had the same situation and whether you can help me deal with it..we promised to make this next month great together but i cant just hide from the negatives..and trust me talking to her about them has never worked. im so frustrated : (
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the response :) i know for a fact they arent abusive to her, she cares for them very much from what she tells me...she remains intent that she dosent want the hassle of them always asking her about the relationship, but yes you are right i should just enjoy what time is left, ive known this and i guess hearing it from someone else helps.. goin 2 university will be hard, ha theres always the possibility i dont get in and end up staying...thats when the fun starts! tragic.
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female
reader, Jewlz  +, writes (5 August 2009):
Are there reasons why she hasn't told her family about you? Are they abusive or overly strict or religious? Maybe she feels they would try to stop her from seeing you when she wants to enjoy the rest of the time you have left together without the drama of them overreacting. Perhaps if you better understood her reasons for not telling anyone about the two of you, then you could learn to accept it better. At any rate, if you are leaving in a month, and you care for her, then perhaps it is best to just enjoy what you have now before you move away. She may be right that telling her parents (if they are strict and/or prone to overreacting) would be pointless since you are moving away soon. Enjoy yourself before you move!
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